Slightly Worse Comic Strips - Page 7

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108 Results for Slightly Worse

View 61 - 70 results for slightly worse comic strips. Discover the best "Slightly Worse" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #human resources, #assistant manager, #simialr, #slightly worse, #wouldn't be threat, #data base, #both hideous, #criminally insane, #hate cats, #business

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I need to hire an assistant manager." "I want someone similar to me, but slightly worse in every way." "Worse than you??" "Yes, but only slightly." "The ideal candidate wouldn't be a threat to replace me." "I'll check my database of applicants who are both hideous and criminally insane." "I said slightly worse." "Exactly. I found one." "I can pretend to read in five languages." "I hate cats."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disrespect, #slightly, #talk about problem, #asking, #requesting, #conversation

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Tina: I think we should talk and try to work out our problem. Dilbert: "What problem?" Tina: "I'm referring to your utter disrespect for me. Dilbert: I don't disrepect you." Tina: "Not even slightly?" Dilbert: "Wait. I feel a little bit coming on right now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #viosnary executives, #block of wood, #foresee good numbers, #new glasses

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"Optometrist for Visionary Executives" "Look through this block of wood." "Is this better or worse?" "Better." "I forsee forty quarters of growth." "Hey, new glasses?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #typo discovered, #driving staretgy, #eberyone, #avery wong, #free delivery

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Ask: "I discovered a typo in the market forecast that is driving our company strategy." "Where it says,'Everyone would want one,' it should have said, 'Every Wong would want one." "Worse yet, I called Mr. Wong and he said he was joking." The Boss: "What if we gave him free delivery?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #porject, #top prioroty, #tell everything, #bored, #can't stay awake, #haven't talked yet, #gets worse

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The Boss: Your project is my top priority. Tell me everything that I need to know. In so bored...cant...stay...awake. Dilbert: I haven't started talking yet. The Boss: Int gets worse??! Dilbert: oo okay

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office relocation, #cubicle, #air duct, #facilities, #chip out penguin, #cold, #cooler

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"Office relocation." "Some cubicles are slightly less desirable than others." "For example, your new cubicle is below an air duct so it is sometimes cooler than the area around it." "I asked the facilities people to chip out the penguin as soon as possible."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fist of death, #foot of death, #doctor, #exam room, #dont use, #Advice, #health, #carpal syndrome, #medical

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Doctor: You've got a bad case of carpal punchel syndrome. Doctor: Don't use your "fist of death" for a few weeks. Alice: GAAA!!! Wally: the "Foot of death" is not the same. Asok: It is only slightly menacing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #weather, #close offcie, #forecast for blizzards, #freezing rain, #tsunamis, #deadly lave flows, #precision-guided ball laightening, #swims of killer bees, #snow tires

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"The weather is getting worse. Maybe we should close the office." "No." "The forecast is blizzards, freezing rain, tsunamis, deadly lava flows, and precision-guided ball lightning." "And radiation enlarged swarms of killer bees." "Get some snow tires, you big baby."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #a bad day, #a worse day, #a much worse day, #ne job online, #trying to fill, #unqaulified

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Headline: A Bad Day. Dilbert stands in front of his computer and says, "Maybe it's time to look for a new job online." Headline: A Worse Day. Dilbert sits at his computer and says, "Hey, that's my job they're trying to fill." Headline: A Much Worse Day. Dilbert sits in his cubicle and says, "And I'm unqualified."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #embezzelment, #explain revenue, #layoffs, #sacrificing, #worse than you, #co worker

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Dogbert is standing on Dilbert's desk. Dogbert says, "You can survive the next round of layoffs by sacrificing a co- worker." Dogbert continues, "You must make your boss believe that someone is a worse employee than you." Dilbert is at a meeting. He turns to Ted and says, "Ted, let me explain revenue: it's like your embezzlement, but it's directed at customers."