Small Dog Comic Strips - Page 7

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298 Results for Small Dog

View 61 - 70 results for small dog comic strips. Discover the best "Small Dog" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dog senslved, #basement, #make running shoes, #eyes, #inexpensive, #footwear

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ELbonian: "Please help me. Your dog has enslaved my people in your basement and forced us to make running shoes!" Dilbert: "GAAA!!! MY EYES!!!" pssst "I like to help people, but I also like inexpensive footwear."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Topper "My first baby weighed 11 pounds." "That's nothing." "I once passed a kidney stone that was the size of a small horse." "I find that hard to believe." "That kidney stone went on to win the Kentucky Derby!"

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I've written a future best-selling book. "It's part fake autobiography and part plagiarism." Moby Dog Publisher Pitch "You were a large white whale? Wow!" "Until I married Mary Magdalene."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #animals in human situations, #career, #criticism, #jobs, #pet ownership, #counselor, #pity

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Career Counselor Woman: And why did you leave your last job? Dilbert: My dog was tired of hearing me whine about my job, so he became a billionaire and bought my company and fired me. Woman: I don't have a checkbox for that so I'll just write in "loser".

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #outsourcing, #design, #communication, #miscommunication, #manufacturing, #obliviousness, #marketing, #business

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We ship our new mp3 player in two days. How's the Elbonian factory coming along? "The prototype is the size of a small tractor and it will only play Elbonian polkas." "I'll budget a little extra for marketing." "It's made of asbestos."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #children, #costume, #embarrassment, #parents, #respect, #work, #tattoo, #daught traylor, #corporate environment, #Family

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"What's that thing doing here?" "This is my daughter, Traylor." "I brought her to the office so she can learn about working in a corporate environment." "Okay, whatever. I have a new project for you." "Some idiot cut his finger. Now we have to do a safety awareness campaign." "Put on this dog costume. You're the mascot for our 'Spot' the safety hazard campaign." "Whenever anyone walks by, you say, 'Woof woof, don't use scissors.'" "Can I get a tattoo?" "Sure."

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"My allergies are kicking up again." "GAAA!!!" "Good gravy, man! Do you have any idea what you've just done?!!" "Since you brought up the topic of health..." "When I was having my bones set, the doctor noticed that I have a detached colon." "My small intestines will eventually burrow up past my spleen and try to leave my body." "GAAA!!! HERE IT COMES!!!" gurgle "And don't get me started about my bunions."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nickname, #the wizard, #my guru, #the lizard, #small brain, #ambition, #catches quicker

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Wally: "From now on, my nickname ill be "the wizard." It wpeaks to my guru status." Alice: "I think I'll call you "the lizard." IT speaks to your small brain and lack of ambition." wally: "Please don't." Alice: "Let's see which one catches on quicker."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #small business, #credit check, #policy, #deadbeat, #imply, #accepts acorns

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Dilbert: "I have to do a credit check on your company before we do any work. It's our policy." Small Businessman: "I resent that! Just because I'm a small businessman, that doesn't mean I'm a deadbeat!" Dilbert: "I didn't mean to imply..." Small businessman: "Do you know if the parking garage accepts acorns?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #create software, #small investors, #pick stocks, #past trends, #hubris, #ignorance, #testimonials

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Dogbert: I'm creating software that will help small investors pick stocks. "It combines past trends that are not indicative of the future with the user's hubris and ignorance." "Now all I need are testimonials from people whose results are not typical!" Dilbert: "So it works?"