Smarter Than Stupid Rattus Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

322 Results for Smarter Than Stupid Rattus

View 61 - 70 results for smarter than stupid rattus comic strips. Discover the best "Smarter Than Stupid Rattus" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #demands, #bosses, #unrealistic, #frustration, #outburst, #catch-22, #travel, #air travel

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.

Meetings Are Dense

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Meetings Are Dense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #time, #perception, #joke, #insult, #stupid, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: According to Einstein, time flows more slowly in meetings than it does in empty space. That's because people are dense. Boss: Is that true? Alice: For you it is.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #work, #results, #observation, #thinking, #strategy, #proof, #evidence

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I did a huge amount of work this week. I created a matrix that compares all of our technology options. Boss: Can I see this alleged matrix? Wally: It's in my head. I didn't see a need to write it down. Boss: How would I know if you did it right? Wally: You're not an engineer, so you wouldn't know it was right even if you saw it. You tell me to "work smarter" but you get angry when I do. Boss: You're not allowed to do your work in your head! Wally: Which body part do you use?

Next Robot Will Be Intelligent

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Next Robot Will Be Intelligent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ai, #artificial intelligence, #insult, #intelligence, #obliviousness, #robot, #stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our next robot release will have the intelligence of a human! Dilbert: Will it have intelligence in the same way you do? Boss: What are you implying? Dilbert: I'll bet the robot wouldn't know either.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #martial arts, #yoga, #stupid, #idiot, #confusion, #tai chi, #karate, #misunderstanding

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I signed up for a martial arts class. It's something called "yoga." Carol: Have you killed anyone yet? Boss: Not on purpose.

Tina Gost Writes About Success

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Gost Writes About Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #humility, #insult, #humble, #ghostwriter, #biography, #Advice, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Tina, a business publication asked me to write an article about success. I need you to ghostwrite it. Make me look wise, yet humble at the same time. Tina: "Hire employees that are smarter than you. In my case, that includes all adults, most children, and an alarming number of dolphins.

Dilbert And The Prison Gang

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert And The Prison Gang - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #prison, #lawyer, #attorney, #Advice, #plead, #trial, #crime, #murder, #technicality, #guilt, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Your brain stimulator invention turned you into a murderer. I will argue that you can't get a fail trial by jury of your peers because all of the people like you are already in jail for doing their own stupid stuff. And I signed you up for a prison gang. All you need to do is skin a snitch.

Teeth Brushing Accident

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Teeth Brushing Accident - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insult, #criticism, #presentation, #stupid, #mean

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Are there any questions about my presentation? Alice: Yes. Did you brush your teeth too aggressively and accidentally stab yourself in the brain? Coworker: Can you be more specific? Alice: Frontal lobes?

Hire Smarter People

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hire Smarter People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leadership, #success, #insult, #power, #compliment, #backhanded compliment, #ego, #humility, #humble

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The secret to my success is that I hire people who are smarter than me. And then I tell those smart people exactly what to do. It keeps you humble. Dilbert: Good, because all of this was starting to go to my head.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public speaking, #presentation, #question, #questions, #stupid, #idiot, #idiots, #criticism, #critic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to critique my presentation for the board. And don't hold back to spare my feelings. Dilbert: That probably won't be an issue. Alice: We got this. Boss: My product idea has three components. Alice: How do you know another company isn't secretly preparing to launch the same product? Boss: What kind of stupid question is that? Alice: It's the same question you asked me yesterday about my product idea. Boss: The board won't ask that. Alice: Don't be so sure. I hear they're idiots.