Staus Report Comic Strips - Page 7
181 Results for Staus Report
View 61 - 70 results for staus report comic strips. Discover the best "Staus Report" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share July 31, 2005's comic on:
Rrring! Alice : Now what? This is alice. Jo its your boss. alice: GAAA! its a car call. he's using me toenetratin himself while he's sitting in traffic Boss: How everything? Alice: I'll lose and hour of my life if I don't get him off the phone, Boss: Nice weather today. Alice: Do me a favor and look in your brief case to see if my latest report is there. The boss: Okay. The boss: and turn down your radio so Ic an hear you...and check your calendar on you pda GAA!!! CRASH! IM going to hell.
Share June 05, 2005's comic on:
Tags #eagles can't fly
"Wally, the status report that you e-mailed me is blank." "That;s because eagles can't type." "What?" "The motivational poster in the break says I should be like an eagle." "The point of that poster is that your spirit should soar like an eagle while you continue to do mundane work." "Wouldn't I die if my spirit left my body to go soar?" "You're confusing your spirit with your soul." "While your spirit is soaring, your sould should remain, trapped in your body, slowly decaying while you create your status report." "Would it change anything if I got a poster that says "you want it when?!!""
Share March 13, 2005's comic on:
"We need more staff for prject Cribou.' "No. You're thinking of project Caribbean." "Caribou is like project muskrat but with lower P.R.O.R.C." "P.R.O.R.C?" "Projected return on research capital." "Is muskrat the enterprise software project?" "Um... No... That would be project muskrat." "Cancel project musk ox, move the staff over to project zebra, delay panda and sdquirrel and give me a status report on probosics monkey." "We don't have any projects with those names." "How's that my fault?"
Share January 02, 2005's comic on:
"The Weekly Wally Report is bristling with tales of success." "I gave worthless input to marketing because they weren't specific about what they wanted." "I missed Alice's project meeting because she never confirmed the location." "I gave harmful advice to the sales team because they rushed me." "I ignored my email for a week because you said to focus on priorities." "And I didn't submit my budget estimates because Asok never told me what format to ues." "How can you call any of that success??!!" "Well, I'd compare it to my written objectives, but you never gave me any."
Share August 01, 2004's comic on:
Dilbert: I lost my ID besiege. Security: Report to the security office and get a new one. Hold it where do you think you're going? Dilbert: To the security office? Security: No one is allowed past this desk with out an ID badge. Dilbert: Okay....how do I go to the security office if I can't go to the security office? Security: Good question. I guess you'll have to steal past me. Dilbert: Look over there! Its an angel and she's giving away free bacon! Security: well well It seems Ive found a worthy adversary.
Share March 02, 2004's comic on:
The Boss: "I've been named the aspect manager of moral. Effective today, you no longer report to me." Yippeeee! Woo hooo! Yes! CEO: "How did you improve the morale so quickly?" The Boss: "I'm a genius?"
Share February 24, 2004's comic on:
Catbert: "According to this report, our employees are afraid to take risks." The Boss: "We can train them to take risks by giving them stretch goals and punishing them for failing!" Catbert: "We did that to raise morale." The Boss: "It stopped all the complaining, didn't it?"
Share December 25, 2003's comic on:
Alice: "The good thing about being downsized is that I don't need to shave my legs." "It grows fast, but who's going to notice?" TV REPORTER: "Police surrounded a convenience store where Sasquatch attempted to buy 'Haagen Dazs.'"
Share December 15, 2003's comic on:
TV Anchorman: Researchers have proven that working with evil or stupid people causes heart disease. Ha Ha! I wonder if the amount of stupidness makes a difference. Your witty banter stinks today.
Share November 21, 2003's comic on:
Asok: "Lately I am overcome with doubt that you read my status reports." The Boss: "Asok, the biggest value of a status report is that it makes you consider all the costs of your project." Assok: "Actually, that is the biggest value of a business plan or a budget." The Boss: "Whatever. Throw it on the pile."