Talk Cobol Baby Comic Strips - Page 7
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440 Results for Talk Cobol Baby
View 61 - 70 results for talk cobol baby comic strips. Discover the best "Talk Cobol Baby" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday July 05,
2016
Wally Waits For People
Tags #responsibility, #laziness, #work ethic, #excuses
Transcript
Boss: You accomplished nothing this month. Wally: I'm waiting for people to get back to me. I believe it is your job to make sure those other people do their jobs. Boss: I guess I could talk to them. Wally: I'll wait for you to get back to me.
Monday June 27,
2016
Biggest Risk To Happiness
Tags #happiness, #Advice, #complaining, #conversation, #psychology
Transcript
Wally: The biggest risk to your happiness involves listening to other people. When they aren't trying to make you work, they're complaining. Asok: I hate that. Wally: Shhh. Don't talk.
Saturday June 04,
2016
Presidential Role Model
Tags #role model, #example, #election, #candidate, #logic
Transcript
Boss: We need a president who can be a good role model for my kids. Dilbert: That will come in handy if your kids want to raise your taxes or veto a transportation bill. Boss: Why do I talk to you? Dilbert: I assume you do it to gain wisdom.
Tuesday May 31,
2016
Political Opinions Only Make It Worse
Tags #intelligence, #speaking, #conversation, #Politics
Transcript
Man: Did you watch any of the debates? Dilbert: Stop right there. I'm barely clinging to the illusion that you're competent at your job. Don't talk about politics or it will only get worse. Man: Did you know China caused climate change by hogging the sun? Dilbert: And there it is.
Monday May 02,
2016
Do Not Talk To Ted
Tags #secret, #keeping secrets, #deception
Transcript
Boss: Don't talk to Ted until I have time to tell him I cut his project. Dilbert: When will that be? Boss: I don't know. My European vacation starts tomorrow. Ted: Do you have ten seconds to talk? Dilbert: Check back in fifteen days.
Saturday April 30,
2016
Dilbert Is Antisocial
Tags #antisocial, #misanthropy, #introvert, #communication, #relationships
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: People are complaining that you're antisocial. Dilbert: I only dislike the people I get to know. Catbert: Then why do you get to know them? Dilbert: It happens by accident when they talk.
Thursday April 28,
2016
Longest Date Ever
Tags #dating, #relationships, #Women, #Men, #attraction, #record, #conversation
Transcript
Dilbert: My date lasted 53 minutes. Dogbert: That's your longest yet. Was she trapped in any way, such as under rubble? Dilbert: Nope! Dogbert: Wow. How'd you do it? Dilbert: I didn't talk for the first 49 minutes.
Wednesday April 20,
2016
The Government Is Listening
Tags #surveillance, #fbi, #privacy, #technology, #bug, #spying, #cell phone, #iphone, #apple
Transcript
Boss: The government asked me for an update on your project. Dilbert: I'll talk into your phone. They listen to you all day long. Boss: This is unsettling. Dilbert: Everything is on schedule!
Thursday April 14,
2016
Checking The Time
Sunday March 27,
2016
Tags #internet, #comment, #jerk, #forum, #argument, #anger, #frustration, #language, #technology
Transcript
Dick, From The Internet. Dick: Would you lie to a monster to keep a baby alive? Dilbert: Yes. Dick: Ha! You admit you're a liar! Dilbert: Not most of the time. Dick: Ooh, not most of the time. Ha, ha! Look who's trying to walk it back now! Apologize for hating babies most of the time! Dilbert: I never said that. Dick: Wow. Pathological much?