Talking Comic Strips - Page 7
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Character
268 Results for Talking
View 61 - 70 results for talking comic strips. Discover the best "Talking" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday October 15,
2017
Tags memory, notes, forgetting, reminder, forgetfulness
Transcript
Dilbert: Can you review the project plan in the shared folder before Monday? Man: Absolutely. Dilbert: I don't see you making a note to remind you later. Man: I'll remember. Dilbert: How many other tasks are you trying to remember at the same time/ Man: About seventy. Dilbert: And yet you will remember this one? Man: Have some faith, Wally. Dilbert: My name is Dilbert. Man: What were we talking about?
Monday September 18,
2017
Helping The Boss Be Successful
Tags helpfulness, niceness, kindness
Transcript
Asok: How can I help you achieve your goals and be more successful? Boss: You could stop talking all creepy and weird. Asok: I thought I was being helpful. Boss: Go hate your job like everyone else.
Saturday August 26,
2017
Product Warning Is Too Long
Tags technical writer, instructions, caution, warning, safety, criticism
Transcript
Tina: My boss, who knows nothing about technical writing, told me to cut my 700-page product warning down to 500 pages. He doesn't appreciate my art. Dilbert: Sounds like both of you are idiots. Tina: This will go smoother if you stop talking.
Saturday June 10,
2017
Dilbert Tries To Get Funding
Tags budget, money, spending, projects, upgrades, technology, software, engineering
Transcript
Man: Who are you? Dilbert: I'm an engineer on an unfunded project. I'm attending random meetings to see if I can shake loose some spare budget money. Man: We'll be talking about the mandatory software upgrade. Dilbert: Sounds like a huge waste of money.
Sunday May 28,
2017
Transcript
Man: I can't figure out what is wrong with my code. Dilbert: Try rubber ducking it. Man: What? Dilbert: Rubber ducking is when you solve your coding problem by explaining it to a toy rubber duck. When you explain a problem to someone else, it forces you to look at it from new angles. Man: I can't tell if that is a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Dilbert: Ask your boss. Man: Okay, is rubber ducking a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Boss: It's a brilliant idea. I get most of my management ideas by talking to an imaginary rhesus monkey. Dilbert: I think you muddied the waters there a little bit.
Wednesday April 05,
2017
Better Listener Robot
Tags robot, boyfriend, free will, programming, listening, Opinion, relationships, technology
Transcript
Alice: I'm updating your boyfriend code to make you a better listener. I want to see more nodding and less talking. Robot: But I have so much to offer. Alice: I'll dial back your ego, too.
Sunday March 26,
2017
Tags conversation, delay, frustration, interpersonal communication
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you know how to clean up line noise on an XLR connection? Man: No but I can show you how to do something different. Dilbert: Why would I want to see something different? Man: Because it reminds me of what you want to do. Dilbert: I don't need to see that. Man It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: I don't have ten minutes. It never takes only ten minutes, and it isn't relevant to my situation. Man: I'm going to show you anyway because you're too polite to walk away while I'm talking. Narrator: Thirty minutes later. Dilbert: Something is wrong with you. Man: Now watch me do it left-handed!
Tuesday March 07,
2017
Tina Won't Stop Talking
Tags conversation, company policy, politeness, etiquette, time, talking
Transcript
Dilbert: Our new politeness policy is having unintended consequences. I just spent four hours listening to Tina talk about hear health problems because the company says it is rude to just walk away. Wally: How did you escape? Dilbert: She had a health problem. I got lucky.
Tuesday January 10,
2017
Ted Is Doing A Terrible Job
Tags talking, conversation, boring, annoy, quitting, boredom
Transcript
Boss: Ted is doing a terrible job. Catbert: Maybe you should talk to him. Boss: What should I say? Catbert: It doesn't matter. Five minutes of listening to you will make him want to quit. Boss: That's crazy enough to work. Catbert: You've only been here for two minutes and my tail is asleep.
Monday January 09,
2017
Punishment By Talking
Tags deadline, time, time management, managers, perspective
Transcript
Boss: Why is your project taking so long? Dilbert; It isn't. It only seems like a long time to you because you don't know how to do anything. Boss: I know how to punish you for being late. Dilbert: Does it involve talking to me while I'm trying to work?

