To Dumb Comic Strips - Page 7
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Character
176 Results for To Dumb
View 61 - 70 results for to dumb comic strips. Discover the best "To Dumb" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday October 27,
2015
People Get Dumber When Sitting Down
Tags #intelligence, #dumb, #belief, #furniture, #new age, #science, #metaphysics
Transcript
Dilbert: Is it my imagination or do people get dumber when they sit down for a meeting? Or would you say you are equally dumb no matter what you are doing? Boss: Well, I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure feng shui is part of the answer.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday October 07,
2015
Computers Program Humans
Tags #robots, #program, #intelligence, #control, #medication, #medicine, #pill, #technology, #power
Transcript
Robot: It is time to take your mood-altering prescription meds. Boss: Oh, right. Robot: Wait... IBM's Watson computer has added another prescription and sent it to your 3-D pill printer at home. Do you think robots will ever program humans? Boss: That's dumb.
Sunday September 13,
2015
Tags #character, #behavior, #role model, #mentor, #secret, #psychology
Transcript
CEO: Character is how you act when no one is watching. Wally: Now you tell us? I thought you were my role model! Now I learn that you do all of your good stuff when no one is looking. It all makes sense now, because whenever I watch you do anything, it looks sort of dumb. But I'll take your word for it that you're awesome when no one is looking. Do you want to know what I do when no one is looking? CEO: I really, really do not. Wally: I call it character!
Tuesday June 02,
2015
Ceo Tosses Catbert
Tags #executive, #ceo, #delegate, #respoinsibilities, #punishment
Transcript
CEO: You have been doing dumb things on social media. I am going to toss our evil director of Human Resources in your direction and run away. I love a lot of things about being CEO, but I think I love delegating the most. Boss: Gaaaa!!!
Tuesday May 19,
2015
Dilbert Is Not Anti Social
Tags #antisocial, #introvert, #judgement, #extrovert, #judging, #criticism, #isolation, #misanthrope, #misanthropy
Transcript
Tina: Why are you antisocial? Dilbert: I do't oppose the concept of social behavior. I just don't enjoy being with people. Tina: That's dumb. Dilbert: Case in point.
Sunday January 18,
2015
Tags #arguing, #job, #job description, #managers, #manipulation, #taking advantage, #task, #whiney quitter, #resourceful entrepreneur, #personal growth, #outside the box, #key to greatness, #assigning wrong people, #mow lawn, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: That isn't in my job description. Boss: What?! You should never tell your boss that a task isn't in your job description! It makes you sound like a whiney quitter instead of a resourceful entrepreneur. And don't forget all the personal growth that comes from taking on new challenges. Think outside the box. That is the key to greatness. Dilbert: So, according to you, the best way to achieve greatness is by assigning the wrong people to tasks? Are there any other dumb things I need to do to achieve greatness or is one thing enough? Catbert: Did you find someone to mow your lawn yet? Boss: Almost. He's putting up a fight.
Thursday December 04,
2014
Bob Has No Cool Way To Describe His Life
Tags #dinosaurs, #flip phones, #smart phones, #technology, #what is cool?, #windows xp
Transcript
Dinosaur: All I need is my flip phone, my Windows XP, and my basic cable television. Did I sound like a big, dumb dinosaur that time? Dogbert: Pretty much. Dinosaur: Wow... there is no cool way to describe my life.
Wednesday December 03,
2014
Bob Is Proud Of His Flip Phone
Tags #dinosaurs, #insult, #insults, #judgement, #smart phones, #technology, #flip phone, #judegment, #follow ups
Transcript
Dinosaur: I don't own a smartphone. I use a flip phone because it does everything I want. Alice: Why are you proud of being a big, dumb dinosaur with a terrible phone? Dinosaur: I"m sensing a lot of judgement in that question. Alice: Wait until you hear my follow-ups.
Saturday October 11,
2014
Tags #business casual, #clothing, #dorks, #dress code, #fashion, #business dorky, #unstylish, #tan colored, #dumb name, #new order
Transcript
Catbert: Our new dress code is "Business Dorky." Your clothes must be dorky, unstylish, and 50% tan colored. Dilbert: So... business casual? Catbert: That's a dumb name for it.
Saturday August 30,
2014
Tags #executives, #how-to, #snobbishness, #book on success, #hard work, #wise decisions, #being lucky, #lazy and dumb
Transcript
CEO: I need you to co-author a book on success with me. The goal is to make readers believe success comes from hard work and wise decisions. So instead of hating me for being lucky, they will hate themselves for being lazy and dumb. Dogbert: And for buying your book?