Topper Versus Alice Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for topper versus alice comic strips. Discover the best "Topper Versus Alice" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Comes To Work Sick

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Boss Comes To Work Sick  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #sick, #sickness, #illness, #contagious, #sick days, #medical

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Boss: I have to warn you-- I have a fever and I'm tripping on cold medicine. Alice: Thank you for coming to work and infecting all of us, you selfish, addle-brained plague rat. Boss: I was going for "courageous." Dilbert: Do Wally first, so I can watch him spasm.

Customers Work For Free

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Customers Work For Free - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #test, #big business, #money, #savings, #obliviousness

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Alice: Did anyone test our user interface before we shipped it? Boss: No, our customers will tell us what they don't like about it. And they work for free. Alice: That isn't right. Boss: That's what our customers say, too, and unlike you, they work for free.

Finding Alice

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Finding Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2018's comic on:


Tags #surveillance, #data, #spying, #location, #privacy

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Boss: Does anyone know where Alice is? Dilbert: Yes. The CIA, Google, Facebook, Apple, and Russian hackers know where she is. Boss: But we have no way to find her? Dilbert: Depends. Was she dumb enough to download our company app?

Dumb Question

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Dumb Question - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2018's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #questioning, #dumb question, #stupidity, #jargon, #language, #lingo

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Boss: I'm not an engineer, so this might be a dumb question. But why can't we 3-D print a blockchain and HTML it into a bitcoin? Dilbert: Alice can answer that. Alice: I quit.

Exactly What Guilty People Say

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Exactly What Guilty People Say  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2018's comic on:


Tags #conspiracy, #accusation, #guilt, #innocence, #logic, #rumor

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Narrator: How conspiracy theories happen... Carol: Alice says you deleted her files on the server. Dilbert: That didn't happen. She's nuts. Carol: Ha! You wouldn't be so angry if it weren't true. Dilbert: What? That doesn't even make sense. Carol: That's exactly what guilty people say. Narrator: Continued...

He Didn't Deny It

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He Didn't Deny It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2018's comic on:


Tags #rumor, #conspiracy, #sources, #vetting, #accusation, #guilt, #innocence

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Narrator: How conspiracy theories happen. Catbert: I've heard from multiple sources that you deleted Alice's files on the server. Dilbert: Your multiple sources all heard it from Alice. That is only one source. Catbert: He didn't deny it. Narrator: Continued...

Dilbert Tries To Gaslight

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Dilbert Tries To Gaslight - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2018's comic on:


Tags #conspiracy, #aspersions, #paranoia, #accusation, #rumor, #gaslighting

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Narrator: How conspiracy theories happen. Boss: Alice says you're trying to cover up the fact that you deleted her files. Dilbert: I didn't delete her files. You're both insane. Alice: What did he say? Boss: He tried to gaslight me. That proves he's guilty. Narrator: Continued...

Dilbert Starts The Cover Up

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Dilbert Starts The Cover Up  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2018's comic on:


Tags #conspiracy, #aspersions, #suspicion, #blame, #proof, #guilt, #innocence

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Narrator: How conspiracy theories happen. Alice: I think Dilbert is trying to ruin my career. Carol said he was mad about something I said, and hew as in the server room right before I lost my files. This morning he said he "had work to do." Boss: OMG. He already started the cover-up. Narrator: Continued...

How Conspiracy Theories Start

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How Conspiracy Theories Start  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #conspiracy, #aspersions, #guilt, #innocence, #blame

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Narrator: How conspiracy theories start. Alice: I can't find my spreadsheet files. Asok: I saw Dilbert going into the server room. Alice: That doesn't mean any... Asok: Carol said he was mad about something you said. Narrator: Continued...

Call My Lost Phone

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Call My Lost Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2018's comic on:


Tags #productivity, #unproductive, #cell phone, #ringing, #frustration, #annoy, #annoyance, #technology

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Boss: I don't know where I left my phone. Can you call it? Dilbert: Sure, but it will make both of us unproductive instead of just you. Narrator: And then there were three. Alice: Gaaaa!!! Where is that ringing coming from???