Turn Down Comic Strips - Page 7
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735 Results for Turn Down
View 61 - 70 results for turn-down comic strips. Discover the best "Turn Down" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday July 04,
2017
Immersive Vr Employee Is Creepy
Tags reality, virtual reality, vr, sanity, hallucination, fantasy, imagination, therapy, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: We hired an immersive VR employee and it's freaking me out. I can only see him when I wear my VR goggles. I feel as if he's always watching me. Doctor: Sounds like you're crazy. I can fix that with a prescription cocktail that will turn you into an entirely new person. Kevin: Run.
Saturday June 17,
2017
Ceo Likes Asok's Presentation
Tags presentation, public speaking, powerpoint
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO said he liked your presentation. Asok: He made me shut up and sit down before I got to my first slide. Boss: He's not a big fan of content.
Friday June 16,
2017
75 Slides Too Long
Tags public speaking, presentation, length, brevity, powerpoint
Transcript
Asok: I have 75 slides to discuss in ten minutes. Save your questions to the end. CEO: Sit down and never talk to me again as long as you live. Dilbert: How'd the CEO presentation go? Asok: It was 75 slides too long.
Tuesday May 30,
2017
Wally Has A Doctor's Note
Saturday May 27,
2017
Cyborg Makes Wally Unnecessary
Tags automation, cyborg, technology, work ethic
Transcript
Randy: I am using the microchip in my brain to plan the entire project. Okay... done. The rest of you can go back to your cubicles and continue doing nothing. Wally: I spent my entire life getting ready for this sort of future and it's going down easy.
Thursday March 30,
2017
Wally Didn't Write It Down
Tags deadline, project, excuse, procrastinate, delay
Transcript
Man: Did you finish the prototype? Wally: I didn't start because I had some questions. Man: Why didn't you ask me those questions a month ago? Wally: I was waiting until I saw you. Man: Fine... what are your questions? Wally: I just realized I didn't write them down.
Wednesday March 08,
2017
Honest Opinion But Polite
Tags criticism, political correctness, politically correct, company policy, honesty
Transcript
Dilbert: Our new politeness policy forbids me from giving you an honest opinion of your idea. So, instead, I will talk about an unrelated topic and you can draw your own conclusions. So... did you hear about the manure fire that burned down a pig farm?
Monday March 06,
2017
No Walking Away
Tags human resources, policy, conversation, ideas, management, strategy, politeness, etiquette, business
Transcript
Boss: The company has a new politeness policy. It is no longer acceptable to turn and walk away while a co-worker is in the middle of telling you something. Dilbert: That will add months to my project. Alice: I'm selling all of my company stock.
Sunday February 05,
2017
Tags sarcasm, obliviousness, future, psychic
Transcript
Boss: Do these cost estimates include everything? Dilbert: Yes, because I know what happens in the future. I didn't think I could accurately predict the future until you trusted me to put this budget together. I thought there were too many variables to know how things will turn out. But I defer to your superior opinion. Wait... I'm getting another message from the future. It says to raise the software budget by nine dollars. Boss: Okay, that sounds right. Dilbert: Of course it does. Trust your instincts.
Sunday December 25,
2016
Tags jargon, speech, words, nonsense, training, trainee, strategy, laziness
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I want you to train our new hire. Wally: The first thing you need to know is that we never use the DPX system when the MGB is down. Man: The... what and the what? Wally: Hold your questions till the end. You can use our PX4 to tunnel into the B9 data and produce at TMNP report. But you'll need authorization from the LDG and the MICOO. Man: I don't understand any of that! Wally: I toldy you to hold your questions until the end. Always remember to jost the primpram whenever the gip is fleeming toward kilp. Man: Maybe I should ask someone else to train me. Wally: Now we're making progress.