Ultimate Pick Up Line Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

227 Results for Ultimate Pick Up Line

View 61 - 70 results for ultimate pick up line comic strips. Discover the best "Ultimate Pick Up Line" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags carbicle, 50%car, 50% cubicle, 100% awesome, human efficiency, expression, engineer, something perfect, genius, shut up, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I call my invention a carbicle." Dilbert says, "It's 50% car, 50% cubicle, and 100% awesome." Dilbert says, "it is the ultimate expression of human efficiency." Dilbert says, "Rarely does an engineer get to create something so perfect that it can never me improved." Dilbert says, "I hesitate to use the word 'genius,' but I won't protest if others do." Dogbert says, "You should cram a bed in there." Dilbert says, "Shut up." Dogbert says, "You shut up."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags brilliant ideas, carnage, honesty, ignorance, ludicrous ideas, mean spirited, mistaken self image, roll eyes, share project, verbally demolish

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, I'm hoping we can work together on this project in the spirit of cooperation. I'll have some ideas, and you'll have some ideas, and together we can pick the best ones. Alice: Sure, that's one approach. But I prefer to exhale deeply and roll my eyes while you prattle. Then I will verbally demolish your ludicrous ideas, and dismantle your mistaken self-image as a competent man. The carnage will create a striking contrast for the warm, clear glow of my brilliant ideas. Later, I will round out the package by spreading amusing stories about how ignorant you are. Is there any chance of doing it my way? Alice: Now watch the eyes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, advice from dog, pick up line, ultimate pick up line, criticism completes me, low self esteem, woman responds, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm going to a singles mixer tonight. Do you have any advice? Dogbert: Don't I always?" "It's all about knowing what a woman needs. Find a woman who looks hot, carve her out from the herd and read this. Dilbert: What is it?" Dogbert: It's the ultimate pick up line. Dilbert: Um...Hi. Excuse me. Criticism completes me. woman: He's a keeper.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags depressed, dilbert and mother, disengaged with son, engage, incompetence, life is a joke, monkeys, talk, work, no punchline, lifeguards

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilmom: How is work Dilbert? Dilbert: Well, mom...I'm like a fly stuck in a thick tar of despair. Incompetence hangs in the air like the cold stench of death. I'm drowning, and monkeys dressed as lifeguards are throwing me anvils. My job has convinced me that life is a stale joke with no punch line. I long for the comfort of the grave. Dilmom: Next time just say 'it's fine. Dilbert: I enjoy our talks. Dilmom: It's fine.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags vacation schedule, cost estimates, teds input, revised timeline, office supplies, store, pens, limited selction, excellent prices, vacation next week

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "May I see the vacation schedule?" Carol: "Why do you want it?" Wally: "No reason." "Well, Ted, I hope you're enjoying your vacation." The Boss: "Wally, do you have the cost estimates?" Wally: "I'm waiting for Ted's input. He's on vacation." The Boss: "How about the revised time-line?" Wally: "I'm waiting for Ted." "Do you need any office supplies? I'm going to the store." Dilbert: "Maybe some pens." TED Wally: "Limited selection but excellent prices." Dilbert: "Thanks." Wally: "So, I understand you have a vacation next week."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags actual meeting, day after meeting, pre meeting, thursday, evil, underpaid

View Transcript

Transcript

Did you set up my pre-meeting for Wednesday? "Yes. It's on Thursday." "You scheduled my pre-meeting for the day after the meeting?" "That was the only day that everyone could make it." "There's no point in having a pre-meeting after the actual meeting." "Sure there is. You can talk about how much better the meeting would have been if you had been prepared." "Here comes the pointy-haired boss. You'd better scurry away before he gives you more work." "There's a fine line between evil and underpaid."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags best donuts, diet, employee eats, top five, donut eating, tempting, envy, boss diet, health

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "How's your diet coming along?" "MM-GUWUNG-MM-GUH-MUH!" "It's hard to pick the one best doughnut I've ever had, but this one is in my top five."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"You missed the meeting." "What meeting?" "The budget meeting that you told me to schedule." "You never told me when it was." "I sent you an e-mail." "Well, obviously you chose an uninteresting subject line." "Otherwise I would have opened it." "You're a bad e-mail sender." "I also told you in person." "Boringly?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Welcome to Dogbert's school of management." "In today's lesson you will learn how to get your employees to do the impossible." "I have issued to each of you one large rock for practice." "Throw your rock in the air and demand that it stay there without falling." "Offer some non-monetary compensation to your rock to incent it." "If your rock refuses to comply, try yelling at it. Go." bonk! - "OW!" bonk! - "OW!" bonk! - "OW!" bonk! - "OW!" bonk! - "OW!" bonk! - "OW!" "For those of you who stood directly below your rock, congratulations. Pick up your diploma on the way out."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

We can kick a field goal in the ninth inning if we use a full-court press. "Remember that you drive for show but you pick up the spare for dough." "Have you been helping Alice with her sports metaphors?" "Perhaps."