Valuable Input Comic Strips - Page 7

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110 Results for Valuable Input

View 61 - 70 results for valuable input comic strips. Discover the best "Valuable Input" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2001's comic on:


Tags #most valuable asset, #rampant ignorance, #really cost, #better jobs, #across the street, #don't know bugs, #wearing trash cans, #accidental exposure, #consultant, #business

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Dogbert is sitting at a conference table across from Dilbert and Alice and flanked by the boss and Wally. Dogbert says, "What is your most valuable asset?" Wally says, "Employees?" The boss stifles a laugh "Hee" Dogbert says, "Your most valuable asset is rampant ignorance." Dogbert continues, "For example, you would never start a project if you knw how much it would really cost." Turning to Wally, Dogbert says, "Employees stay here because they don't know there are better jobs across the street." Wally says, "What?" Turning to the boss, Dogbert says, "Customers buy your products because they don't know about all the bugs." The boss says, "Good point." Holding a trashcan, Dogbert says, "I recommend wearing trash cans on your heads to avoid any accidental exposure to knowledge." An employee, wearing a trashcan over his head, says, "Did he tell you he was a consultant?" Another trashcanned employee says, "He said he was selling trash cans."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2001's comic on:


Tags #master of delegation, #footsteps, #third thing, #valuable time, #vendor, #two minute call, #Funny, #conversation

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The Boss is hiding behind a doorway as Dilbert walks toward him. The Boss thinks, "The Master of Delegation hears the footsteps of his prey." Sticking his head out the door, The Boss says, "Hi." A startled Dilbert exclaims, "Gaaa!!" The Boss says to Dilbert, "Call this vendor and tell him I want the third thing he told me about." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Okay. That will save two minutes of your valuable time." Dilbert says, "When the vendor asks me dozens of questions should I just guess at the answers?" Dilbert asks The Boss, "Or would you prefer to spend an hour giving me enough background so you can avoid a two-minute call?" Dilbert says, "You know what's funny? This conversation lasted a minute... And there are two of us." The Boss asks, "Are you done?" Dilbert says, "I think you wrote down your own phone number."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2000's comic on:


Tags #kicking me, #least valuables, #manager, #most valuable emplyees, #turnover, #increase turnover

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The Boss says to the staff, "As a manager, it's my job to reduce the turnover of our most valuable employees..." The Boss continues, "...and to increase turnover of our least valuable employees." Wally screams, "Ow! For the jillionth time, who keeps kicking me?!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2000's comic on:


Tags #alice screams, #jaw unhinges, #mad, #frighten hoagie, #lunch room, #break room, #screams at lulu, #frightening

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Alice: LULU, you've stalled my project for long enough, I want your input. NOW!! Alice: I found out my jaw unhinges when Im mad> Asok: You frighten my hoagie.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2000's comic on:


Tags #grossly underpaid, #Dilbert, #work for money, #valuable, #money, #challanges, #work for challenges, #exchange

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Dilbert says to the Boss, "I'm grossly underpaid. I want a raise." The Boss replies, "Oh, Dilbert, Dilbert, Dilbert." Dilbert responds, " What? What? What?" The Boss says to Dilbert, "People don't work here for money." The Boss continues in an enthused voice. "They work here for the challenge!" Dilbert answers, "If challenges are more valuable than money..." Dilbert continues, "Why don't you give me your money and I'll give you my challenges." After a moment of silence, Dilbert says "Well?" The Boss thinks to himself, "I must kill him before he infects the others."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2000's comic on:


Tags #project plan, #without input, #lied to me, #skipped that step, #already assigned blame, #for failure

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Dilbert and Alice are seated together at a table when the Boss walks up and hands Dilbert a piece of paper. He says to Dilbert, "I finished the project plan without your input." As Dilbert reads the paper, the Boss goes on to say, "You would have lied to me anyway, so I just skipped that step." The Boss sits at the table with Dilbert and Alice and says, "I've already assigned blame for failure, but don't worry, it's just preliminary."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 1999's comic on:


Tags #scrap paper, #employees, #put in hat, #makes comforatble, #business

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "Write on a scrap of paper the names of employees who do great work and put them in the hat in my office." Asok says, "And then do you select one name each week to receive valuable rewards?" The Boss says, "No, the scraps of paper make my hat more comfortable."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 1999's comic on:


Tags #dogbert consults, #teflon, #body, #shake well, #before using

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Caption "Dogbert Consults" Dogbert hands the boss a spray can. dogbert says, "Spray this Teflon on your body to better ignore the input of your subordinates." The boss sprays. The boss now has a pan for a head. Dogbert says, "Next time, shake well before useing." The boss says, "Who cares what you say?!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 1999's comic on:


Tags #cat bert, #hr dorector, #nput of employees, #morons, #sing loudly, #thinking, #pinball wizard

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Caption: "Catbert: H.R. Director" Catbert says, to Asok, "I value the input of all employees..." Catbert says, "....including the morons. Although in those cases, I cover my ears and sing loudly>" Asok says, "So I was thinking maybe..." Catbert begins to sing, "He's a pinball wizard"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 1999's comic on:


Tags #lost forturne, #trophy wife, #valuable lesson, #wrote down

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Wally, without his ponytail, eats lunch with Alice and Dilbert. Wally says, "I lost my fortune and my trophy wife today. But I learned a valuable lesson." Wally eats his bannana. Wally says, "I hope I wrote it down somewhere."