Vendor List Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

229 Results for Vendor List

View 61 - 70 results for vendor list comic strips. Discover the best "Vendor List" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2009's comic on:


Tags #lazy, #new employee, #youth, #argument, #violence, #pain, #victory

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "And obviously I can't do anything until our floom vendor updates the glimrods." Man says, "I'll bitspew a protopatch to your glimrod array and you can get right to work." Sometimes a young engineer challenges the dominant work-avoider in the herd. Wally says, "Oh, really?" Wally says, "Too bad the router isn't configured to handle protopatch server traffic." Man says, "I'll remotely reconfigure the router to think the protopatch server is a hexadulian data compressor." Wally says, "If you do that, you'll crash the firewall and expose everyone at this table to identity theft!" Tina says, "Stop that! I have enough problems!" Punch! Wally says, "Never go network on me, kid."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #eat, #scare, #Word, #troll, #dress code, #cubicle, #scaring vendors, #word gets around

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I got reassigned to manage our legacy systems. The dress code is "troll." My cubicle is under the walkway. My side job is scaring vendors. Dogbert: Is that hard? Dilbert: Only the first day. After you eat one vendor, work gets around.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2008's comic on:


Tags #need plan, #plant plan, #employee of the month, #cop, #wanted list, #net, #crazy person

View Transcript

Transcript

A man says, "We need a plan for making our plan." The man says, "Then we need to plan the plan's planny plan." A police officer says, "Have you seen this man?" The Boss says, "Sigh. There goes another employee of the month."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2008's comic on:


Tags #behind schedule, #defective equipment, #improbable event, #reliable vendor, #sales guy, #golfing, #bought hat, #impossible boss, #on the hook

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I can't give you a raise because your project is behind schedule." Dilbert says, "That's because the vendor delivered defective equipment." The Boss says, "It is your job to anticipate that sort of problem and head it off." Dilbert says, "It isn't possible to anticipate and head off every improbable event." The Boss says, "Well, you could have picked a more reliable vendor." Dilbert says, "You told me to use this vendor because the sales guy took you golfing and bought you a hat." The Boss says, "Well, you should have seen that coming and burned down all hat factories a year ago." Dilbert says, "He would have bribed you another way." The Boss says, "That's what lazy people say."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2008's comic on:


Tags #approved vendor list, #boss, #no one relaible, #reliable

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you have the approved vendor list?" Secretary: Hmmm, Alice and Asok asked for that list too Are you one of three people assigned to the same project because your boss believes none of you are reliable?" " Dilbert: Maybe. Secretay: Hmmm, and you're the last one to ask for the list.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2008's comic on:


Tags #configure software, #consultant, #doohickey, #vendor, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our vendor sent us a consultant to help configure the software. We can tell how important we are by looking at the consultant they assigned to us. RatBert: The word that comes to mind is doohickey."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2007's comic on:


Tags #theoretically impossible, #looped back, #mobs strip, #to- do list, #had a pencil

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "It was theoretically impossible to work this week." "Everything I needed to do required me to do something else first, until it all looped back on itself like a Mobius strip." The boss: "Maybe you could make a to-do list." Wally: "As if I had a pencil."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2007's comic on:


Tags #marginally useful things, #ageeing, #say it a certain way, #tone, #beat up, #ripped shirt, #anger, #repesct, #high strung, #co worker

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: "You should check with Ted to see if he knows about this sort of thing." Dilbert: "I'll add that to my list of marginally useful things that other people have suggested I do." Dilbert: "Apparently, agreeing isn't enough. You also need to say it a certain way."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2007's comic on:


Tags #ceos son, #joining dept., #intern, #mentor, #little spy, #tell hi dad, #list of compliments, #go somewhere, #three questions, #desk, #kill him

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Our CEO's son is joining the department as an intern." "I want you to be his mentor." "And by mentor, I mean don't let the little spy learn anything about us." "If he finds out what we do, he'll tell his dad we're doing it wrong." "Here's a list of compliments you can give him." "Tell him his assignment is to go someplace and study cool motorcycles." "If he asks more than three questions, kill him." Intern: "Where's my desk?" Dilbert: "That's one."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2007's comic on:


Tags #wealthy investor, #list of cutomers, #products to injure, #lawyer, #contract, #list, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We financed our expansion by selling the goodwill on our balance sheet to a wealthy investor. Dogbert: "I made a list of the customers that I want your products to injure." "Your lawyer did a bad job on the contract." The Boss: "His name is on your list."