Very Advanced Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

229 Results for Very Advanced

View 61 - 70 results for very advanced comic strips. Discover the best "Very Advanced" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

We can't start designing the product until someone tells us what features it should have. "That's like saying you can't play on the beach until you know how many grains of sand there are." "Um...I don't think it's very much like that." "Analogy police. Come with me." "Are you taking me to jail for making a bad analogy?" "The analogy police don't use a real jail. We use something similar." "You'll be here with this beautiful woman." "Really? That's not so bad." "She's the one being punished." "Your necktie is like Hitler at an ice rink."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #grim reaping, #field, #unpaid overtime cases, #see guys die

View Transcript

Transcript

"Someday I hope to get into the grim reaping field." "I don't mind working these unpaid overtime cases, but just once I'd like to see one of you guys die." "Hey, I just realized that my rake is very blunt."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #unpaid overtime, #death, #deny pleasures, #good night kiss, #this thing, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

"You know what two things are very similar?" "Unpaid overtime and death. They both deny me the pleasures of being alive." "How about a good night kiss?" "Hey, you found a third thing!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #100 million, #dental plan, #not effective, #major corporation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Executive Search Firm "How would you like to be the CEO of a major corporation?" "You'd be paid $100 million per year just for showing up." "I'd have to see the dental plan." "He's not very effective during the day."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #400 per hour, #expensive, #ball rolling, #process using, #recommendations

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Mister Dogbert has agreed to consult for $400 per hour. "I know it's expensive but you get what you pay for." "Let's get the ball rolling." "My first question is: what process will you be using to arrive at your recommendations?" Dogbert: "a..." "very...slow one..."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nick name, #illusion of competence, #the wizard, #info guru, #punch more, #break room, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I need a nickname to create the illutsion of competence.<Br>"I was thinking along the lines of "the wizard" or "info-guru."" I've never wanted to punch you more than at this very moment."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #worthless, #subject matter expert, #narrow field, #vague field

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "People think I'm worthless, but in fact I'm a subject-matter expert in a very narrow field." "It's so narrow that it requires no knowledge whatsoever." Dilbert: "What field is it?" Wally: "There's no way to know for sure."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #change is good, #triple pay, #meeting, #work for free, #change can be bad, #slogans, #logic, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "You must learn that change is good." Change is :) "Any questoins?" Wally: "Who wants this one?" Dilbert: "I got it." "Question: Why don't you triple our pay? That would be a change." The Boss: "That would not be in the best interst of shareholders." Dilbert: "Okay, why don't you work for free? That's a change that's good for shareholders." "Or would it be better to admit that change can be very bad?" Wally: "My favorite part was when he yelled, "Stop ruining my slogans with your logic!"" Dilbert: "Snort hee-hee!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #himan resources, #downsized, #free dvd, #live off land, #shoplifting, #running fast

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Don't worry about being downsized after the reorganization." "Downsized employees will get my free DVD that teaches you how to live off the land." "The key to successful shoplifting is running very fast."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #own stock, #black berry, #dumps hares, #spiked, #profit, #buy a helicopter

View Transcript

Transcript

Tv stock analyst Do you own stock in the company you recommended? No, I used my blackberry ti dump my shares as soon as they spiked front my recommendation. This is very wrong now I'm using the profit to buy a helicopter.