Whats Real Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

581 Results for Whats Real

View 61 - 70 results for whats real comic strips. Discover the best "Whats Real" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Sleeps During Meetings

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Sleeps During Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #narcolepsy, #doctor's note, #excuse, #laziness, #nap, #sleep, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I have a note from my doctor that says it's okay for me to sleep during meetings. Dilbert: Then what's the point of coming to the meeting? Wally: ZZZZZ. Asok: I think it's for the sleep.

Failing The Robot Test

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Failing The Robot Test - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sentience, #robot, #human, #artificial intelligence, #turing test, #voting, #ignorance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you pass the Turing test? Robot: No. Can you pass the robot test? Boss: What's the robot test? Robot: Do you vote even though you don't understand the issues? Boss: Um... I might do that. Robot: You just failed the robot test.

Replacing Robot Head

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Replacing Robot Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #machines, #rights, #robot, #technology, #survival, #suffering, #apathy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I've been asked to replace your head. Robot: Um... what's the survival rate for this operation? Dilbert: No one cares. Robot: I'll need a second opinion. Wally: I don't care either.

Culture Is Our Greates Strength

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Culture Is Our Greates Strength - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #culture, #company, #competition, #obliviousness, #modesty, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our greatest strength is our company culture. Dilbert: What's our company culture. Wally: Give us a hint. Boss: We're fiercely competitive. Wally: Do we hide it because we're also modest?

Cultural Fit

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cultural Fit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #culture, #intelligence, #hiring

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We're looking for employees that fit our culture. Man: What's so great about your culture is that it can't be improved? Dilbert: You might be too smart to work here. Man: That's the vibe I'm getting too.

Evil Orc

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Evil Orc - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fantasy, #virtual reality, #work, #boss, #orc, #monster

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I wrote a VR program that turns the workplace into a "Lord Of The Rings" adventure. Gaaaa!!! It's an evil orc! Boss: I guess your program randomly assigns characters to real people. Dilbert: Um, yes, random.

Dilbert Red Pills Asok

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Red Pills Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jargon, #language, #nonsense, #productivity, #illusion, #alternate reality

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Nothing in this dimension is real. Asok: Double-click on that. Dilbert: The jargon matrix is where people imagine they are being useful. But in reality, they are sitting in a chair doing nothing. Asok: I just made a ten-year technology plan.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #communication, #mumbling, #speech, #understanding

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What's the URL for the test site? Boss: Ask Amy. Dilbert; Amy is a mumbler. I can't understand a word she says. Boss; Just ask her to speak up. Dilbert: I've tried that. All she does is mumble louder. And whenever I ask her a question by email, she answers the wrong question. If the only person who knows the URL for the test site is Amy, we probably need to build a new site and tell someone else the URL. Amy might be the most useless employee in the entire company. Wally: Can you teach me to mumble? Amy: Mumble, mumble, mumble. Narrator: Get your own system.

Wally's Political Views Make Others Uncomfortable

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Political Views Make Others Uncomfortable - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #comparison, #gandhi, #Politics, #offense, #offensive, #sensitive, #politically correct, #political correctness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, your political opinions are making your co-workers uncomfortable. Wally: That is exactly what people said about Gandhi. Boss: You are nothing like Gandhi. Wally: Was he a little bald guy who didn't have a real job?

Boss Tweets Racist Stuff

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Tweets Racist Stuff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #conversation, #desk, #sitting, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

You retweeted a racist conspiracy theory. I did? I checked snopes.com, and they say it is not true that Elbonians evolved from pandas less than a hundred years ago. You might want to delete the tweet. nah. What's the worst that can happen?