Word Processing Comic Strips - Page 7

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117 Results for Word Processing

View 61 - 70 results for word processing comic strips. Discover the best "Word Processing" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2006's comic on:


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"According to my benchmark tests, our product is the worst one on the market." "Maybe you can tweak the numbers." "Fake them?" "Fake is such an ugly word." "Just remember that your next raise depends on the sales of that product." "And mistakes happen. A decimal place can be either here or there." "All I'm asking is that you do the tests again...while drinking." "I always wondered what job satisfaction felt like."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"If I buy this, how can I be sure you won't come out with a newer version next week?" "I give you my word as a job-hopping commission junky with a gambling problem." "And even if we did have a newer version, it sure wouldn't fix any of the problems that this one has."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2005's comic on:


Tags #response to letter, #apologize, #admits error, #starting war, #mean spirit, #hating minorities

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Carol: "Hey, I got a response from the newspaper columnist I reamed for misusing the word "dongle."" ""Dear Nutbag... Link to a dictionary..." Um... Oops... It appears that I was wrong." "Now do you apologize?" "Plan B: I accuse him of hating minorities."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2005's comic on:


Tags #scathing letter, #coulmnist, #dongle, #vebal superiority, #feel alive, #dear nutbag

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Carol: I just fired off a scathing letter to a columnist for misusing the word "dongle". Im intoxicated with the feeling of verbal superiority. My sad life has meaning , I feel alive! The columnist: Dear Nutbag, Thanks for the input, Heres a link yo a dictionary, I await your apology

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2004's comic on:


Tags #need name, #company, #disguise, #treachery, #catchy, #krap2idiots, #business

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Dogbert: "I need a name for my company, then I can film the infomercial." Dilbert: "I assume you want a name that will help disguise your treachery." "Not so much." TV: "And now a word from the CEO of Krap2idiots." Dilbert: "Catchy." "Shhh..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2004's comic on:


Tags #real estate, #sell house, #agent, #doesn't know maybe, #moving fast, #control process, #escrow closes

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Dilbert: "Maybe I should sell this house and get a newer one." Dogbert: "I'll be the real estate agent." Dilbert: "I said maybe." Dogbert: "A good real estate agent doesn't know the meaning of that word." Dilbert: "Things are moving too fast. I've lost control of the process." Dogbert: "Pack your stuff, waffler. Escrow closes in ten days."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2003's comic on:


Tags #made up language, #inventing language, #downsized, #no word

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Boss: "Alice, I don't know the best way to say this but I'll try." "Oog - nah wahgoo yagga bliphnow elga nooey fip wah!" "That's a language I'm inventing in my spare time. It has no word for 'you're downsized.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2003's comic on:


Tags #stay home husband, #support career, #chocolate, #hot and cold, #bobby, #didn't hear

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Alice says to the man in the apron, "Bobby, I'm looking for a stay-at-home husband to support my career." Bobby responds, "I'm sorry - I was thinking about chocloate, and I didn't hear a word you just said." Bobby walks away and says, "Br-r-r-r, I'm cold. Now I'm hot. Now I'm cold!" Alice thinks, "This will take some work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2003's comic on:


Tags #new product revenue, #future, #slashed bidget, #development budget, #describe future, #doomed

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The addresses a meeting, "The future of the company depends on new product revenue." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: Is that why you slashed the research and development budget?" The Boss replies, "If you're so smart, let's see you describe our future without using the word 'doomed.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2003's comic on:


Tags #hire emplyees, #qaulified, #hore dumb people, #motivation

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Catbert stands on The Boss' desk and says, "We can't afford to hire qualified employees." Catbert continues, "My plan is to hire dumb people and be angry at them." Catbert replies, "I forget - what's the word for pretending that people can change their basic nature?" The Boss replies, "Motivation?"