Worst Advice Comic Strips - Page 7

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262 Results for Worst Advice

View 61 - 70 results for worst advice comic strips. Discover the best "Worst Advice" comics from Dilbert.com.

Hard Work Is Necessary For Success

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Hard Work Is Necessary For Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #misunderstanding, #motivation, #hard work, #Advice, #brainwash

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Transcript

Wally: Remember, Asok, success requires hard work and sacrifice. Asok: Got it! I will work hard and sacrifice! Wally: I was going to say that's why you should avoid success. Who brainwashed you?

Attendance Strategy

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Attendance Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #deception, #attendance, #Advice, #mentor, #mentoring

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Wally: Ideally, you want to find a job that requires more attendance than work. And then you want to concoct an endless string of "reasons" you can't come to work. The ultimate goal is getting paid for being nothing but a concept. Asok: I bask in your wisdom.

Dilbert Eats A Berry

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Dilbert Eats A Berry - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2015's comic on:


Tags #google, #internet, #off the grid, #question, #query, #allergy, #berry, #reaction, #swelling, #anaphylaxis, #technology

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Dilbert goes off the grid: minute three. Dilbert: I wish I could Google this berry before eating it. What's the worst that could happen? Wow. This is a very specific answer to my question.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2015's comic on:


Tags #meditate, #meditation, #mindful, #mindfulness, #mbct, #stress, #trick, #laziness, #deception, #work ethic, #ruse, #nap, #napping

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Wally: Do you mind if I take Steve Jobs' advice and practice meditation and mindfulness? Science says meditation can reduce stress and make me more productive. And obviously it worked for Steve Jobs, so there's that. To the untrained eye, it will seem as if I am napping. But in reality, I will be quieting my mind to boost creativity. Boss: Meditate on your own time. Wally: Wow. That just stressed me out and shut down my creative juices. Boss: Just do your job! Wally: Because quality doesn't matter?

Government Wants To Kill Dilbert

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Government Wants To Kill Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2015's comic on:


Tags #cyber attack, #technology, #hacker, #hacking, #government, #spying, #surveillance, #privacy, #hiding, #hiding out

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Transcript

G-Man: The app you wrote in your spare time stopped the worst cyber attack our nation has seen. The president has authorized me to kill you and steal the app so no other country can get it. Dilbert: The government will never find me! G-Man: We chipped you during your colonoscopy.

Dilbert's App Stops Cyber Attack

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Dilbert's App Stops Cyber Attack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2015's comic on:


Tags #technology, #hacker, #hacking, #cyber attack, #government secret, #advancement, #app

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Boss: I'm loaning you to the government to help stop the worst cyber attack our country has seen. Dilbert: I wrote an app for that. Okay... done. Are we good? G-Man: It's a gray area. I might need to kill you and steal the app.

In The Long Run We Are All Dead

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In The Long Run We Are All Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work, #work ethic, #existentialism, #suffering, #death, #philosophy, #pessimism, #Advice, #medical

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Dogbert: As you head to your horrible job, remember these inspirational words... In the long run, we're all dead. Dilbert: That feels like an oversimplification. Dogbert: I skipped the part where you suffer for 90 years.

Try Leaning In

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Try Leaning In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2015's comic on:


Tags #help, #Advice, #bad advice, #careers, #Promotion, #success, #business

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Tina: I feel as if my career has stalled. Dilbert: Have you tried leaning-in? I hear good things about that. Tina: How do you sound helpful and offensive at the same time? Dilbert: Some say I have a gift.

Deserve Is For Losers

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Deserve Is For Losers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2015's comic on:


Tags #deserve, #loser, #sympathy, #Advice

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Tina: I didn't get the promotion I deserved. Alice: Deserve is a loser word used by losers when they lose. Tina: Whose side are you on? Alice: The winning side. Was that unclear?

Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail

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Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2015's comic on:


Tags #Promotion, #saving face, #executives, #bad advice, #bad ideas, #mentor, #mentoring

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CEO: I've been mentoring Wally for over a week and he's still useless. But we need to promote him to Vice President so it looks as if my mentoring works. Catbert: That might be a bad idea in the long run. CEO: What is this "long run" people keep harping about?