Years Of Training Comic Strips - Page 7

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392 Results for Years Of Training

View 61 - 70 results for years of training comic strips. Discover the best "Years Of Training" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Cancels Food Service

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Boss Cancels Food Service - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lunch, #Food, #stealing, #refrigerator, #property, #misunderstanding

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Boss: I've decided to cancel our food service to save money. Dilbert: We don't have a food service. We all bring our own food and keep in the break room refrigerator. Boss: I've been eating the food in there for seven years. Dilbert: I'd keep that to myself if I were you.

Wally Pretends To Work

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Wally Pretends To Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic

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Wally: If you need me, I'll be at my desk pretending to work. Alice: How long do you think you can get away with that? Wally: I wondered the same thing for the first fifteen years or so.

Erik Used To Work For The Cia

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Erik Used To Work For The Cia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #surveillance, #cia, #technology, #spying, #privacy

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Boss: This is our new hire, Erik. He used to be a computer programmer for the CIA. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. Erik: I know. I've been watching you through your devices for years. Dilbert: You what? Erik: Um... I mean, hi!

Wanting More Out Of Life

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Wanting More Out Of Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #laziness, #wisdom, #ambition

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Asok: Do you ever want more out of life? Wally: That's how losers think. If you always want more, you can never be happy with what you have. Asok: I can't tell if you're wise or lazy. Wally: I know. It took me years to find that sweet spot.

Can't Take Vacation

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Can't Take Vacation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company policy, #catch-22, #rules, #exception

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Dilbert: Our policy says I can't take my vacation until I complete all of my mandatory training. I can't take the fax safety class because it no longer exists. Can you make a policy exception for me? Boss: Okay, I won't force you to take a vacation.

Actual Company Policy

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Actual Company Policy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #management, #manipulation, #strategy, #vacation, #training, #company policy

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Boss: I can't approve your vacation days because you haven't completed the mandatory class on fax machine safety. Dilbert: Is that an actual company policy? Boss: I don't know, but it sounds like one. Dilbert: Maybe we should check. Boss: Wow. Is there anything you DON'T complain about?

Boss Tweets Racist Stuff

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Boss Tweets Racist Stuff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #conversation, #desk, #sitting, #technology

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You retweeted a racist conspiracy theory. I did? I checked snopes.com, and they say it is not true that Elbonians evolved from pandas less than a hundred years ago. You might want to delete the tweet. nah. What's the worst that can happen?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jargon, #speech, #words, #nonsense, #training, #trainee, #strategy, #laziness

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Boss: Wally, I want you to train our new hire. Wally: The first thing you need to know is that we never use the DPX system when the MGB is down. Man: The... what and the what? Wally: Hold your questions till the end. You can use our PX4 to tunnel into the B9 data and produce at TMNP report. But you'll need authorization from the LDG and the MICOO. Man: I don't understand any of that! Wally: I toldy you to hold your questions until the end. Always remember to jost the primpram whenever the gip is fleeming toward kilp. Man: Maybe I should ask someone else to train me. Wally: Now we're making progress.

Followship Training

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Followship Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leadership, #following, #lazy, #work ethic, #motivation

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Boss: I'm too busy to take a leaders hip class, so I'm sending all of you to a followship class. Dilbert: Is that so we can learn how to follow someone who never learned to lead? Boss: That sounds like a good question for your followship teacher.

Mandatory Safety Meeting

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Mandatory Safety Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #safety, #catch-22, #choosing, #unsafe

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Boss: You have to go to a mandatory safety training class right now. Dilbert: Is it safe for me to miss the deadline you gave me for this assignment? Boss: No, you lose either way. Dilbert: Hmm. Maybe I could work all night from home then drive to work exhausted.