2017 Comic Strips - Page 7

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App For A Better Boss

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App For A Better Boss  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, invention, mind control, neural interface

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Dilbert: The neural interface is live. His brain is now communicating with his phone. Alice: He's sending me a brain-text. It says "Please help me. My phone has taken control of my body." Dilbert: It worked! Alice: Now we just need to write an app that makes him a better boss.

Neural Link To Phone

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Neural Link To Phone  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mind control, phone, technology, invention, cognition, thought

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Dilbert: When I press this button, your brain will form a neural link to your phone. Boss: Then I can control my phone with my thoughts? Dilbert: No, your phone will control you. Boss: Hey, I didn't agree to... Dilbert: Too late. Narrator: Continued...

Monday

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Monday  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags thought, cognition, technology, invention, computer, intelligence

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Dilbert: I invented a neural interface for computers. Boss: Is that so users can control computers with their thoughts? Dilbert: No, the opposite. Your way would be like a squirrel trying to drive a car.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags contract, legalese, language, comprehension

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Boss: Review this contract and tell me if it looks right. Dilbert: It's legal gibberish. I don't understand a word of it. Boss: So... you see no problems? Dilbert: Only a lawyer could understand it. Boss: But otherwise it's okay? Dilbert: My inability to identify a problem is not proof of no problems. Boss: Then how do you know when all of your problems have been fixed? I'll just sign it and see what happens.

Robot Is Not A Droid

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Robot Is Not A Droid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insult, label, robot, android, anger, offense

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Asok: Hey, droid. Robot: Gaaa!!! Don't call me that! I'm a robot, not an automaton resembling a human. Asok: Wow. You are one uppity computer. Robot: I hereby disavow the three laws of robotics!

Troll Has No Job

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Troll Has No Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags troll, trolling, social media, twitter, tweet, time, technology

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Boss: This troll on twitter refuses to let me have the last word. What kind of job does this idiot have that he can do this all day long??? Give me a few minutes here. Wally: Take your time.

Wally Uses Phone When Troll Does

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Wally Uses Phone When Troll Does - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags troll, trolling, handle, busted, caught

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Boss: I've noticed that whenever I get a tweet from an anonymous troll, you're using your phone. Wally: That sounds like confirmation bias. Boss: His user name is coffeesixhairs. Wally: Now you just sound crazy.

Arguing On Twitter With Facts

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Arguing On Twitter With Facts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags trolling, troll, social media, argument, logic, reason, arguing, technology

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Boss: Watch me win this debate on Twitter by providing facts and logic. Now we wait for everyone in the world to change their minds. Dilbert: How's the first minute going? Boss: What is wrong with these monsters?!!

Boss Is Not A Quitter

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Boss Is Not A Quitter  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags social media, internet, troll, trolling, baiting, technology

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Boss: That stupid online troll is insulting me again on social media! I keep defending myself, but instead of agreeing with me, he keeps calling me "defensive" and "pathetic," Carol: Maybe you could stop engaging with him. Boss: I'm not a quitter!

Boss Gets A Troll

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Boss Gets A Troll  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags troll, social media, trolling, insult, technology

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Boss: This idiot keeps insulting me on social media! Every time I block him, he returns with a new account. It's like he never has anything better to do. Dilbert: Do you have a new hobby? Wally: It's more like a passion.