Accurate Numbers Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

86 Results for Accurate Numbers

View 61 - 70 results for accurate numbers comic strips. Discover the best "Accurate Numbers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2005's comic on:


Tags #discontinued chips, #crazy glare, #useless

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hey, Dilbert, can you update the yield numbers for our discontinued chips?" "Well, if I have to choose between being rude and doing something useless..." "Consider my crazy glare." "I guess I'll start being useless."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"You will no longer have access to code on any server but your own." "Is it my imagination, or are all of our rules designed for the sole purpose of being huge inconveniences?" "And starting today, all passwords must contain letters, numbers, doodles, sign language and squirrel noises."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I can do this feasibility analysis in two minutes. "It's the worst idea in the world. Numbers don't lie." "Our CEO loves the idea." "Luckily assumptions do lie."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

We need to add a $3 component to our product to comply with federal law. "The product review committee will need a cost-benefit study before we decide." "And you know it's accurate because I used math!" Duh 100

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I got the latest numbers from Yvonne. "How's Yvonne doing with the sextuplets now that her house burned down and she had shoulder surgery?" "It didn't come up."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

We might need to restate our earnings. "It turns out that we're not allowed to make up numbers." "Did you know that 'frillion' isn't an actual number?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults "You need a dashboard application to track your key metrics." "That way you'll have more data to ignore when you make your decisions based on company politics." "Will the data be accurate?" "Okay, let's pretend that matters."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2010's comic on:


Tags #futurists, #baby boomers, #retire, #coffee, #standing

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "Futurists say that when baby boomers start retiring in big numbers, you won't be able to fill critical job openings." Wally says, "If you agree to let me slack off now, I'll give you a few good years when I'm sixty." The Boss says, "What if you renege?" Wally says, "That's a risk I'm willing to take."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 2010's comic on:


Tags #magic button, #cost estimates, #push, #phrase, #swear

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "This is a magic button." Dilbert says, "Any time you ask for cost estimates, I push the button and it guides me." Button says, "Pull the numbers out of your?" Dilbert says, "It only says the one thing."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2010's comic on:


Tags #failure estimate, #hallucinate, #assumption, #make up, #understanding

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Can you get me some failure estimates for our next gen product?" Dilbert says, "I can if you like numbers that are based on hallucinated assumptions." The Boss says, "I kind of do." Dilbert says, "I think we have an understanding."