Alleged Focus Group Comic Strips - Page 7

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209 Results for Alleged Focus Group

View 61 - 70 results for alleged focus group comic strips. Discover the best "Alleged Focus Group" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #laziness, #training class, #training expenses, #vendor, #permission, #proactive, #alleged class, #truts, #aggressiveness, #uselessness

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Wally: I accomplished nothing this week because I was in a training class. Boss: I didn't approve any training expenses. Wally: A vendor paid for it. Boss: You didn't ask for permission. Wally: I'm proactive and empowered. Boss: And what was the name of this alleged class? Wally: Advanced scripting structure for internetwork optimization of SQL databases. Boss: That doesn't sound real. Wally: I can't do my job if you don't trust me! Do you like how I combined aggressiveness with my baseline level of uselessness? I have a good feeling about this. Dilbert: You might need more aggressiveness.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #Family, #obliviousness, #career, #focus, #married with kids, #huge hassle, #already chosen

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Dogbert: Executive Coach Dogbert: You need to focus on your career or your family. You can't do both. CEO: I don't have a family. Dogbert: Actually, you're married and you have four kids. CEO: That sounds like a huge hassle. Dogbert: Perhaps you've already chosen.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #suspicion, #startegic engineer group, #worst in one group, #insightful, #business

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Boss: Ted, I'm moving you to a newly formed strategic engineering group. Ted; Are you putting all of your worst employees in one group so you can later eliminate the function and avoid firing each person individually? Boss: You picked a bad time to to become insightful.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #focus, #losing focus ability, #wasn't important, #digital distractions, #conversations

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Dilbert: Studies say people are losing their ability to focus because of all the digital distractions. Wally: Sorry, what? Dilbert: Hold on... Wally: What were you saying? Dilbert: I dunno. Probably wasn't important.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ability to focus, #painful, #rewired brain, #thinking, #change topic

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Wally: The distractions of the digital age have rewired my brain and ruined my ability to focus. Now I find it painful to dwell on any topic for longer than five seconds. Boss: Let's talk about this. Wally: No-o-o! Change the topic!

Ceo Is On Nine Boards

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Ceo Is On Nine Boards - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #board, #board member, #power, #bragging, #focus, #attention

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CEO: I am proud to say I serve as a board member for nine corporations. Dilbert; Your lack of focus shows disregard for your fiduciary responsibilities. CEO: Can someone fire this guy for me? I don't remember what company I'm at.

Boss Is In A High Risk Group

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Boss Is In A High Risk Group - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #health & safety, #office workers, #sarcasm, #virus, #pandemic, #risk

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Carol: Are you worried about coronavirus because you're in a high-risk group? Boss: Why would I be in a high-risk group? Carol: Do you own a full-length mirror? Boss: No. They make me look fat.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #direction, #managers, #increase clairty, #whining

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CEO: employees keep whining that we don't have a clear direction. So Ive doubled the number of managers one each group to increase the clarity. The Boss: I thought we were doubling the direction. No, we're doubling the clarity.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #standards meeting., #represent interests, #create standards, #mutually exclusive prefrences, #laughs

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Standards Meeting. Dogbert: Each of you has been chosen to represent the interests of your respective companies. As you know, the best way to create standards is to mash together a bunch of mutually exclusive preferences. I hope I'm not the only one who joined this group just for the laughs.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #editors, #document, #bad edits, #wrong religion, #fool

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Coworker: I made some edits to your document. Dilbert: These edits are so bad that my only choices are to send it out and make a fool of myself or insult your alleged intelligence. Coworker: Please let it be the first choice. Dilbert: I hope you didn't pick the wrong religion too.