Almost Worked To Death Comic Strips - Page 7
459 Results for Almost Worked To Death
View 61 - 70 results for almost worked to death comic strips. Discover the best "Almost Worked To Death" comics from Dilbert.com.
The Boss stands at Alice's desk. The Boss says, "When you show this to our VP. Put in some revenue figures." Alice says, "There's no revenue. All we're doing is upgrading our network." The Boss says, "I might have told him the project has revenues." Alice grits her teeth. The Boss says, "Lets not confuse him by changing the story now." Alice covers her eyes. Alice screams, "Yi-yi-yi." Alice says, "O-o-o-okay. How much revenue do you want? A million dollars?" The Boss says, "I might have told him it was more." Alice screams, "Just tell me what lie to use!!!" The Boss says, "Can't you calculate it on the spreadsheet?" Alice's fists clench, Alice's eyes bulge. Alice thinks, "Must control....fist..of...death..."
The boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice are in a meeting. The Boss says, "Anyone who takes more than thirty minutes for lunch is unprofessional." Wally says, "That's still too long! I say your unprofessional after six minutes!" The boss says, "That's a little too professional, Wally." Wally says, "Death to those who eat!!"
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the breakfast table. Dilbert has his lap top in front of him. Dogbert says, "They say people fear public speaking more than they fear death." Dogbert says, "So technically, if you kill a guy who's scheduled to speak, you're doing him a favor." Dogbert says, "When are you going to sleep." Dilbert says, "Never."
Alice stands behind Asok who sits at his computer. Alice says, "Asok, I've been calling and calling, but you don't pick up your phone." Alice pushes up her sleeve and says, "I'd like you to meet a little something I call the "fist of death." Wally and Dilbert look at a tattered hole in a cubicle wall. Wally says, "It looks like he gnawed through the wall to escape."
Dilbert walks along the sidewalk with a date. She says, "Well, we're almost back to my place." She says, "Thanks for the date. I can make it from here." Dilbert reaches out and thinks, "I'd better attach the tracking device." She thinks, "I'll run down that alley and hide until he leaves."
Ted, Alice and Wally sit in a meeting. Ted says, "But then I.." Alice taps Ted on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me." Alice says, "Does your story EVER end? Or must I purchase your silence with my fist of death?" Alice walks out of the meeting with Ted's still stuck to her arm. Alice says, "I might have to go to a two-warning system."
Alice has a man stuck on her hand post fist of death. The boss says, "Alilce, it's okay for men to be assertive, but when a woman acts that way..." The boss says, "Well, it's the "b" word." Alice says, "Boxer?" The boss says, "O-o-okay."
Extremely angry, Alice approaches the sadist who sits at his computer. She rolls up her sleeves and says, "Okay,sadist, it's time to meet the fist of death. A note from the author forewarns his readers that nothing bad or violent happens to the sadist. The author's note reads: If you are the sort of person who is influenced by comic strips, I assure you nothing bad or violent happens next. Alice and the sadist discuss their differences and become lifelong friends. As Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit together eating lunch, Dilbert asks Alice "What was in that big bag I helped you drag to the dumpster?"
The Boss says to Alice, "I've decided to manage like a sadistic game show host." The Boss continues, "Because it would be insane if I kept doing what didn't work." The Boss asks Alice, "Would you rather have a performance review or be pecked to death by trained birds?"
The Boss sits at home watching the evening news on television. "Our investigtive reporter has identified the company behind the deadly falling satellites." The television sounds: "Whump!" The next day at the office, the Boss says to Dilbert "Your plan worked." Dilbert replies, "What plan?"