Anti Light Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

155 Results for Anti Light

View 61 - 70 results for anti-light comic strips. Discover the best "Anti Light" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #anti co worker, #padding, #noise canceling, #headphones, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm waring my anti-co-worker suit to work today. It has noise-canceling headphones, blinders, and padding so I can't feel taps on my shoulder. Headphones: Mr. Watson-- don't come here-- I don't need you. Dilbert: Heh heh.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #designers, #ignorance (knowledge), #black buttons, #black case, #hardware, #user interface, #normal light, #nerdy, #art, #package design

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You designed our hardware with black buttons on a black case. The user interface will be invisible in normal light. Designer: But more important, it looks great! Dilbert: You don't know what "important" means, do you? Designer: It sounds nerdy. I majored in art.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pronouned hay-soos, #fixed eye sight, #hair regrow, #40 shares, #punch pilot light, #ceo, #team organizer

View Transcript

Transcript

Pronounced Hay-soos. Wally: The new team leader, Jesus, is gaining quite a following." He fixed my eyesight and made my hair regrow. I think he wants your job as CEO. For forty shares of stock, I could point him out at lunch. CEO: I'll punch his pilot light out!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #colossal waste, #different light, #less usless, #unimportant, #staff meetings

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I took a class on being less useless. Now I see the world in a different light." Wally says, "For example, I recognize these staff meetings as colossal wastes of time, but there's nothing I can do about them." Wally says, "Now my helplessness makes my uselessness seem unimportant."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anti dilbert, #ahhihilated, #leaves vacuum, #spf50, #garbageman, #Advice

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I created an anti-Dilbert, but I don't know how to prevent him from being annihilated by matter when he leaves the vacuum." The Garbageman says, "If you don't know how to do it, and he's the anti-you, that means he knows how." Anti-Dilbert says, "Matterscreen, SPF 50. Duh."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #budget cut, #joke, #bleak, #budget cuts, #undead, #feast on flesh, #don't like light

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I realize things look bleak after the budget cuts. But remember it's always the darkest before the undead feast on your flesh. Because they don't like light. Dilbert: WE GET IT!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new product, #military, #weapon demo, #new york harbor, #light show, #statue of liberty, #stump, #newspaper, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "We're planning to introduce our new military product with a light show in New York harbor." Coworker says, "Wally, can you handle the weapon demo and the light show?" Wally says, "Sure. What could go wrong?" One week later Dilbert says, "They're calling it 'The Stump of Liberty.'" Wally says, "No one is saying it was a boring show."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #happy, #prince of insufficient light, #devil, #giant spoon, #meeting, #photoshop, #upset, #sweat, #grab tie, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Phil, The Prince of Insufficient Light Phil says, "You stand accused of being happy at work."<RB>Phil says, "Your penalty is to attend a meeting so horrible that none may speak its name." Photoshop your co-worker's photo onto the torso below. Dilbert says, "No... Please... anything but this."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tesks, #intern, #anti meeting spell, #traffic estimates, #barraged with questions, #fights ensue, #new service, #web application, #all technology, #internet bubble, #platform

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: "I didn't have time to finish my tasks for this meeting." Wally: "No problem." "If you get cornered, read this powerful anti-meeting spell." "Asok, did you finish the traffic estimates?" Asok: "Um...I was wondering if our new service is Web 2.0 or Web 1.0." "Obviously it's a Web 2.0 application because of the tag-based folksonomies." "No it isn't. All of our technology existed before the Internet bubble." "'When' doesn't matter. It only matters that we use the Web as a platform!" "Everything is a platform!" Asok: "Freaky."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #laziness, #insuffcemt light, #interpret, #accomplishments, #project team, #buzzwords, #duplicates, #harvesting organs, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, this is my brother, Phil, The Prince of Insufficient Light. I asked him to interpret your accomplishments for this quarter. Phil You have 25 alleged accomplishments. Eight of these accomplishments involved simply being on a project team that did something. Nine accomplishments involved fixing problems you created. Five of these are just buzzwords that don't mean anything. And three are duplicates that you reworded to appear different. I'd recommend harvesting his organs, but those probably don't work either. Wally: That's just mean.