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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 1999's comic on:


Tags #meeting moth, #attracted to meetings, #resist the urge, #beat myself, #senseless, #sense off purpose

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Dilbert in his co-workers sit in the conference room. The meeting moth approaches and thinks, "The 'meeting moth' is attracted to all meetings." Wally and Dilbert sit as the meeting moth enters the room. He says, "Excuse me. I can't resist the urge to beat myself senseless on your table." Dilbert and Wally stand and watch as the meeting moth climbs on the table and begins to bang it's head and body on it. Wally says, "You have to envy his sense of purpose."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 1999's comic on:


Tags #unprofessional, #thirty minutes, #six minutes, #too professional, #death to those who eat

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The boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice are in a meeting. The Boss says, "Anyone who takes more than thirty minutes for lunch is unprofessional." Wally says, "That's still too long! I say your unprofessional after six minutes!" The boss says, "That's a little too professional, Wally." Wally says, "Death to those who eat!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2000's comic on:


Tags #boss office, #coup, #parked, #reserved spot, #scheduled meetings

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The boss is holding a briefcase and he says to Carol, who is at her computer: "Carol, you parked in my reserved space." Carol hands a sheet of paper to the boss ans says: "I scheduled you to drive to meetings all day." The boss answers: "Oh." Carol is at her cubicle and thinks: "Tomorrow I move my stuff into his office and the coup is complete."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2000's comic on:


Tags #doomed projects, #fake mergencies, #more efficient, #unnecessary meetings, #to do list

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Sitting at his computer, Dilbert thinks to himself "This to-do list will make me more efficient." Dilbert continues thinking to himself, "I have three fake emergencies, two doomed projects, four unnecessary meetings..." At home, Dilbert says to Dogbert "I figured out why you never ask me how my day day went." Dogbert replies, shooing Dilbert away with one hand, "Off you go."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2001's comic on:


Tags #mandatory lunchtime meetings, #life work balance, #high five, #Catbert

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Catbert and the boss are sitting at a table. Catbert says, "How about mandatory lunchtime meetings?" The boss says, "On the subject of Work-Life Balance!" The boss and Catbert high five each other. Wally and Dilbert peek over a cubicle divider at the the boss, whose hand is bandaged. Wally says, "Uh-oh. He's been high-fiving Catbert again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2001's comic on:


Tags #day over, #cubicle, #six o'clock horror, #screaming, #nightmare, #can't leave, #more work, #over time, #stay late, #boss, #papers

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Dilbert is whistling while getting ready to go home. Cation reads: "A happy Dilbert prepares to go home after a long day in the cubicle." Dilbert's boss enters the cubicle. Caption reads: "Too late. The six o'clock horror is upon him!" Dilbert, taken by surprise, screams, "GAAA!" Caption reads: "In your workspace no one can hear you scream." Asok and Wally are leaving. Asok turns to Wally and asks, "What was that?" Wally answers, "Just keep walking."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2001's comic on:


Tags #no raise, #not enough questions, #meetings, #care about job, #thirst for knowledge, #likes wood

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Asok the Intern sits across from the Boss. The Boss says, "I can't give you a raise. You don't ask enough questions in meetings." The Boss continues, "Questions show that you care about your job and have a thirst for knowledge." Asok is seen at a staff meeting, hand raised, asking, "Who else likes wood?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2001's comic on:


Tags #meeting to discuss, #employee retention, #employees quit, #useless meetings, #reasons, #first meetings

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The Boss comes into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "We're having a meeting to discuss employee retention." Dilbert replies, "Tell them that employees quit because there are too many useless meetings." The Boss says, "We won't be getting into reasons at the first meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2001's comic on:


Tags #cure for carpel tunnel, #eat six bananas, #hands of teenager, #data, #medical advice, #huge pimple

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Asok is sitting at his desk, noticeably still in pain. The Boss says, "The cure for carpal tunnel is to eat six bananas a day." The Boss shakes his hand and continues, "That's what I do and I have the hands of a teenager." Asok turns around and replies, "Do you have any data to support your medical advice?" The Boss responds, "Does a huge pimple count?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2001's comic on:


Tags #better job, #cubicle 45750r, #magic portal, #round of layoffs, #six months, #911 inside job

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A male coworker says to Dilbert and Wally, "I'm being moved to the magic portal, cubicle 4575OR!" The coworker continues, "Everyone who sits in the magic portal gets a better job within six months!" Wally and Dilbert are walking alone. Wally asks Dilbert, "There isn't a cubicle 4575OR, is there?" Dilbert responds, "The first round of layoffs are always the cruelest."