Assignment Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for assignment comic strips. Discover the best "Assignment" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accounting system, less transparent, investors, bad people, corrupt corporate culture

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Dilbert, the troll, and Asok are meeting. Dilbert says, "Our assignment is to make our accounting system less transparent." Asok asks, "What?" Dilbert turns to Asok and says, "We don't want investors to know what we're doing." Asok asks, "Are we bad people?" Dilbert responds, "We're good people who have been influenced by a corrupt corporate culture." Asok says, "Oh, okay. Carry on."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags assistant, company politics, pretend, actual work

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The Boss says to Wally, "I have an assignment for you that has no value whatsoever to the company." The Boss continues, "For reasons of company politics, I need to pretend I'm doing something in that area." Wally approaches Dilbert and says, "So, you're doing actual work. What's that all about?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cannibals, inspirational quotes, lobby wall, hands on stomach

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Wally hands The Boss a piece of paper and says, "As requested, I pulled together some inspirational quotes for our lobby wall." The Boss reads the list and says, "Hannibal Lector... The Donner Party... Uh.. Wally, most of these people are cannibals." Wally puts his hand on his stomach and says, "It was probably a mistake to do this assignment on an empty stomach."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags pantless prima donna, smithsonian, framed, the louvre

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Pantless prima donna I demand an assistant to document my miracles. That which I touch will be tagged for the smith Usonian, That which I create will be framed for the louver. Asok: really? and exciting assignment? what is it?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stress hump, no asignment, no compeer no freinds, resist, the hump

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The New Employee "No assignment...no computer...no friends to talk to..." "It's just me and this huge stress hump." "Wazzup?" "Must...resist...urge...to name the hump...and talk to it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I got a job at the Indian company where you outsourced my job." "Then I arranged to work from home, which, as you know, is my old cubicle." "Fine. Here's your assignment." "E-mail it to me. My day starts in 10 hours."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Steve, ask everyone in the department to sign this birthday card for my secretary." "I've led men in combat and this is the sort of assignment you give me???" "Also, run down to the convenience store and buy her something fluffy or orange."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Wally, if I give you an assignment, what are the odds that you will actually do it right?" "If I put my mind to a task, I do it well." "Will you put your mind to it?" "Wow. Good follow-up question."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I can monitor the company's key metrics from my executive dashboard. "Uh-oh. I need to do a better job of falsifying my data." "Allow me to set the stage for your next assignment by reminding you that stockholders have never done anything for you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complain about work load, ounce of prevention, pound of assignments, working day and night, projects, assignments, deliverables, must do items, action items, frie drills, dog and pony shows, glare problem

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Wally is leaned back in his chair sleeping. Wally awakens, looks at his wrist watch and thinks to himself, "It's time to complain about my workload." As Wally walks away from his desks, he thinks "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of asignments." Wally goes into the Boss' office to complain about his workload. He says to the Boss, "I'm working day and night!" Wally goes on to explain. "I've got projects, assignments, deliverables, tasks..." The Boss sits at his desk listening to Wally. Wally continues, "...must -do items, fire drills, and dog and pony shows." The Boss, having ignored everything Wally just said, hands Wally a piece of paper and says "Wally, I have an assignment for you." Wally is surprised. Back at his desk, Wally is again leaned back in his chair, faced covered with the piece of paper the Boss handed him earlier, as he thinks to himself, "I solved my glare problem."