Automatic Promotion Comic Strips - Page 7

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67 Results for Automatic Promotion

View 61 - 67 results for automatic promotion comic strips. Discover the best "Automatic Promotion" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2015's comic on:


Tags #reasoning, #excuse, #leadership, #Promotion, #promote

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Boss: I can't promote you because you didn't have an impact on anything important. Dilbert: How can I have an impact on important things when you put me on unimportant projects? Boss: That sounds like an excuse. Dilbert: What's the difference between an excuse and a great reason? Boss: It depends who says it. Leaders have great reasons when things don't work out, but losers just have excuses. Dilbert: So... you can turn my excuses into great reasons by promoting me? Boss: No, because I can't promote you. Dilbert: That sounds like an excuse.

Deserve Is For Losers

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Deserve Is For Losers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2015's comic on:


Tags #deserve, #loser, #sympathy, #Advice

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Tina: I didn't get the promotion I deserved. Alice: Deserve is a loser word used by losers when they lose. Tina: Whose side are you on? Alice: The winning side. Was that unclear?

Try Leaning In

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Try Leaning In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2015's comic on:


Tags #help, #Advice, #bad advice, #careers, #Promotion, #success, #business

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Tina: I feel as if my career has stalled. Dilbert: Have you tried leaning-in? I hear good things about that. Tina: How do you sound helpful and offensive at the same time? Dilbert: Some say I have a gift.

Alice Uses Social Media

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Alice Uses Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #social media, #twitter, #careers, #competition, #deception, #trick, #flame, #internet, #technology

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Alice: Well, Ted, it looks like you and I are competing for the same promotion. My plan is to use social media to make you look bad. Catbert: I fired Ted for trash-talking you on Twitter. Alice: I don't have a social media account and it still works!

Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever

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Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #success, #Promotion, #management, #work, #laziness

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Boss: The product you accidentally invented is our biggest seller in company history. So I'm promoting you to a leadership position. Wally: Phew! I thought you were going to make me work.

Ted Promoted To Software Architect

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Ted Promoted To Software Architect - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2017's comic on:


Tags #manager, #Promotion, #intelligence, #logic, #obliviousness

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Boss: I promoted Ted to software architect because he doesn't know how to code. At first I thought it was a bad idea. Then I remembered that sometimes monkeys are astronauts. Dilbert: You know the monkeys don't fly the rocket, right? Boss: And Ted won't be writing code.

Coffee Machine Uses Guilt

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Coffee Machine Uses Guilt - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Wally, #alice, #Dilbert, #coffee, #coffee maker, #automatic, #invention, #manipulation

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Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our coffee maker. Now it uses guilt to manipulate people into making a fresh pot if they take the last cup. Coffee Maker: You disgust me. Wally: I get that a lot.