B Priorities Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

96 Results for B Priorities

View 61 - 70 results for b priorities comic strips. Discover the best "B Priorities" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bv day, #boss vacation, #pretend working, #all day with binder

View Transcript

Transcript

Consulting his planner, Wally tells a co-worker: "I can't meet next Tuesday because that's a B.V. day." The co-worker asks: "B.V.?" Wally explains: "Boss Vacation. I don't need to pretend I'm working that day." Consulting his planner again, Wally continues: "And on Wednesday I'll be walking around all day with a binder."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #top priority, #smoldering mound, #rubble, #career, #didn't like, #desk

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Dilbert, take care of this. It's our top priority." Dilbert: "Sure. I'll just let m other priorities slip until my career is a smoldering mound of rubble." dilbert: "So what is it?" The Boss: "I don't know.. I just didn't like it on my desk."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #co owrker, #favor, #being b=nice, #nick names, #spitting on grave, #not dead

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hey, Dilby, Dil-boy, Dilly-dally, Dilbo Baggins, Dill Pickle!" "I need a favor." "Does it involve spitting on your grave?" "I'm not dead." "Well then, I guess we both need a favor."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #response to letter, #apologize, #admits error, #starting war, #mean spirit, #hating minorities

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: "Hey, I got a response from the newspaper columnist I reamed for misusing the word "dongle."" ""Dear Nutbag... Link to a dictionary..." Um... Oops... It appears that I was wrong." "Now do you apologize?" "Plan B: I accuse him of hating minorities."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #phishing, #new hobby, #fake banking emails, #gullible executives, #financial information, #steal, #password social security card

View Transcript

Transcript

"I have a new hobby. It's called phishing." "I send fake banking e-mails to gullible executives. Then I find out their financial information and use it to steal the money they don't deserve." Dear Customer, This is your bank. We forgot your social security number and password. Why don't you send them to us so we can protect your money. Sincerely, I. B. Banker "Looks legit."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Welcome to Dogbert's seminar on work-life balance." "First, review this list of your priorities." Family Job Exercise Vacation Must-Dos Medical Eating Hygiene Sleep Romance Holidays "You have time for three things. Work and holidays are two. You get to pick the third."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ethics course, #on line course, #perfect scores, #taking for boss

View Transcript

Transcript

What?! You only got a 'B' taking the online ethics course for me? "No one will believe you're me unless you get all perfect scores." "I...was...tired." "Why? You only did 300 push-ups for my online gym class!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, too many people are asking me for things. How can I set priorities?" "Wait until everyone is yelling at you and then help whoever makes the scariest threat on any given day." "Is that what you do?" "No, I tell people to go ask you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"In order to boost productivity, the company has decided that employees can not use e-mail on Fridays." "What if my highest priorities require e-mail? Should I waste my day doing worthless stuff?" "Geez, somehow you made a great idea seem ridiculous." "Yeah, that's all me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #interviews, #job applicant, #second opinion, #jb hoppr, #bunny costume, #17 jobs, #2 years, #red flags, #rage issues, #passionate

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need a second opinion on a job applicant. His name is J.B. Hopper. He dresses in a bunny costume and he's had seventeen jobs in two years. Catbert: Are there any red flags? Boss: I can't tell if he's passionate or if he has rage issues.