Bad Decisions Comic Strips - Page 7
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771 Results for Bad Decisions
View 61 - 70 results for bad decisions comic strips. Discover the best "Bad Decisions" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday November 26,
1992
Tags beaver, Dogbert, shortcuts, tricks, work, daytime, planner, organize, efficiently, sit, bad
Transcript
Beaver: When you're a lazy beaver, you try to find shortcuts and tricks to get your work done. I got this daytime planner to organize my day efficiently. But all it does is sit there. Dogbert: Looks like you got a bad one.
Thursday February 11,
1993
Tags Dogbert, creativity, consultant, intuition, mumbo jumbo, quantitative data, decisions, assumptions, calculate, net, discount, rate, meaninggless
Transcript
A man stands in front of Dogbert's desk and says, "We don't need any of your 'intuition' mumbo jumbo. We need quantitative data!" The man continues, "The only way to make decisions is to pull numbers out of the air, call them 'assumptions,' and calculate the net present value." The man continues, "Of course, you have to use the right discount rate, otherwise it's meaningless." Dogbert says, "Go away."
Wednesday February 24,
1993
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, ratbert, hole, space, bad, minute, passed, dimension, floating, hundred, thousand, bored
Transcript
Dilbert reaches into a hole and says to Dogbert, "I'm going to pull Ratbert out of the hole in space before anything bad happens." Ratbert tells Dilbert and Dogbert, ". . . Although only a minute passed in this dimension, I've been floating in the other dimension for three hundred thousand years." Dilbert says, "Wow! It's lucky I didn't reach in there with my watch hand!" Ratbert yells, "Yes I was bored!!! Thanks for asking!!"
Tuesday January 25,
1994
Tags bad timing, corporate offcie, declared war, french embassy, satellite program, slingshot
Transcript
Dilbert: The corporate office sent me to head up the Elbonian satellite launching program. Elbanian: ooh...bad timing. The french delivered their satellite early. we already tried to launch it with the town slingshot. Dilbert: It doesn't get much worse than this. Elbonain: It flattened the french embassy. They declared war an hour ago.
Saturday March 19,
1994
Tags bad news, break gradually, budget worked on, build up, effort, reorganizing dept., worthless, you're fired
Transcript
The Boss: Susan, Im reorganizing the department again. The budget you worked on for months its now worthless. Susan: I think when you have bad news you should make an effort to break it gradually, maybe build yup to it. The Boss: Oh, that reminds me: You're fired.
Wednesday April 06,
1994
Tags about co workers, donuts, get prompted, say bad things, weight, woman, medical
Transcript
DOGBERT: If you want to get promoted , say bad things about co workers so you look better by comparison. Dilbert: Geez, Lisa, It looks like you've been hotting the donuts pretty hard lately. Dilbert: heh-hehe...big things are coming my way soon.
Saturday April 09,
1994
Tags bad luck, lottery tickets, fabulous wealth, delight, hedonistic, yesterdays date, old, expired, scam, scammer, cheater, rat, dog, animals
Transcript
"Value priced lottery tickets" Ratbert: "I am drawn by the allure of fabulous wealth and a life of hedonistic delight...one please." "This is dated yesterday." Dogbert: "Ooh, bad luck. Try again?"
Saturday April 30,
1994
Tags senior executive, bad deciosn, end careers, challenging, decison, great idea, mixed signals, pull neckties, hurts
Transcript
"If we know our senior executive is making a bad decision, shouldn't we tell her?" "Hmm, yes. Let's end our careers by challenging a decision that won't change. That's a great idea." "I'm getting mixed signals here." "And let's pull our neckties until it hurts!"
Saturday February 18,
1995
Tags bad news, no raises, making worse, own reward, rewarded, twice as much
Transcript
The caption reads, "Bad news." The Boss sits at his desk saying, "We're not giving any raises." The captions reads, "Making it worse." The Boss says, "But we think work is its own reward." The caption reads, "Making it MUCH worse." The Boss says, "Expect to get rewarded about twice as much next year."
Tuesday March 21,
1995
Tags Catbert, hr director, new org chart, so close, too bad, play before firing, downsized
Transcript
Catbert stands on a cubicle wall waving a document. Catbert says to Alice, "Here's the new org chart. Maybe you're on it and maybe not." Alice jumps up and tries to reach the sheet as Catbert holds it out of reach. Catbert taunts, "Ooh! Nice try! So close. Too bad." Catbert ties the chart to a string and dangles it into the cubicles. Wally and Alice lunge for it. Catbert says, "It's fun to play with them before downsizing them."