Bad Input Comic Strips - Page 7
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700 Results for Bad Input
View 61 - 70 results for bad input comic strips. Discover the best "Bad Input" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday April 09,
1994
Tags #bad luck, #lottery tickets, #fabulous wealth, #delight, #hedonistic, #yesterdays date, #old, #expired, #scam, #scammer, #cheater, #rat, #dog, #animals
Transcript
"Value priced lottery tickets" Ratbert: "I am drawn by the allure of fabulous wealth and a life of hedonistic delight...one please." "This is dated yesterday." Dogbert: "Ooh, bad luck. Try again?"
Saturday April 30,
1994
Tags #senior executive, #bad deciosn, #end careers, #challenging, #decison, #great idea, #mixed signals, #pull neckties, #hurts
Transcript
"If we know our senior executive is making a bad decision, shouldn't we tell her?" "Hmm, yes. Let's end our careers by challenging a decision that won't change. That's a great idea." "I'm getting mixed signals here." "And let's pull our neckties until it hurts!"
Saturday February 18,
1995
Tags #bad news, #no raises, #making worse, #own reward, #rewarded, #twice as much
Transcript
The caption reads, "Bad news." The Boss sits at his desk saying, "We're not giving any raises." The captions reads, "Making it worse." The Boss says, "But we think work is its own reward." The caption reads, "Making it MUCH worse." The Boss says, "Expect to get rewarded about twice as much next year."
Tuesday March 21,
1995
Tags #Catbert, #hr director, #new org chart, #so close, #too bad, #play before firing, #downsized
Transcript
Catbert stands on a cubicle wall waving a document. Catbert says to Alice, "Here's the new org chart. Maybe you're on it and maybe not." Alice jumps up and tries to reach the sheet as Catbert holds it out of reach. Catbert taunts, "Ooh! Nice try! So close. Too bad." Catbert ties the chart to a string and dangles it into the cubicles. Wally and Alice lunge for it. Catbert says, "It's fun to play with them before downsizing them."
Friday March 31,
1995
Tags #bad mouthing, #last guy, #slimy, #brain, #files, #fleas skull, #alice, #Wally
Transcript
Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit at a conference table. Alice says, "I'd like to kick-off the project with the traditional bad-mouthing of the guy who worked on this before." Alice yells, "He's so slimy that slugs pour salt on HIM. His brain would rattle in a flea's skull!" Alice turns to Wally and says, "Oh, and I'll need your files." Wally answers angrily, "Fleas don't have 'skulls!!'"
Friday April 28,
1995
Tags #bad news 1985, #replacing doctor, #registered nurse, #fired nurse, #aspirin, #vending machine, #vending machine revenue
Transcript
The caption says, "Bad news in 1985." Dilbert, the Boss and another man sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We're replacing the company doctor with a registered nurse." The caption says, "Bad news in 1990." The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "We fired the nurse and put the aspirin and tourniquets in the vending machine." The caption says, "Bad news in 1995." The Boss holds a mallet behind his back as he says to Dilbert and Wally, "We've been asked to increase vending machine revenue by fifteen percent."
Thursday August 17,
1995
Tags #alarmed, #rat floating, #mid air, #rendered invisible, #worthless assignments, #bad attitude, #quality meeting
Transcript
The Boss is surprised to see Ratbert hanging in midair. Ratbert says, "Don't be alarmed. I'm not really a rat floating in midair." Ratbert continues, "I'm clinging to the back of an employee who has been rendered invisible by a long succession of worthless assignments." The Boss comments, "Looks like an isolated case of bad attitude." Behind the Boss, a beaver is suspended in midair. The beaver asks, "Which room is the 'quality' meeting in?"
Wednesday August 30,
1995
Tags #brittle writer, #thelma and louise, #bad drivers, #not offended, #three stooges, #all documentraies, #Men
Transcript
The caption reads, "Dogbert tweaks Tina the brittle tech writer." Dogbert asks Tina, "What do you think of the movie 'Thelma and Louise?'" Tina responds, "I know what you're trying to say. You think all women are bad drivers. That's really the point of the movie, isn't it??" The caption reads, "If you're not offended yet, tune in tomorrow." Dogbert asks Tina, "The 'Three Stooges?'" Tina cries, "Why are ALL of the documentaries about MEN??!"
Friday October 06,
1995
Tags #captain dogbert, #good news, #bad news, #hotting town early, #actually hitting town, #crash warning, #corporate jet, #ceo, #dog, #animals
Transcript
The corporate jet flies over the mountains. From the cockpit, Dogbert says, "This is Captain Dogbert with some good news and some bad news." Dogbert continues, "The good news is that we'll be hitting town ten minutes ahead of schedule . . ." Dogbert continues, "The bad news is we'll be hitting town."
Wednesday October 18,
1995
Tags #smell bad, #perfume, #killing people, #cpr, #let me die, #Dogbert, #woman, #bad perfume
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a woman's desk wearing a gas mask. He says, "I have failed in my attempt to subtly tell you that your perfume is killing people. I will try a direct approach." Dogbert removes the mask and screams, "Hey!! You smell bad!!! B-a-a-a-d!!" Dilbert collapses onto the desk and the woman asks, "Should I give you CPR?" Dogbert says, "No-o-o-o!! Let me die!!"