Best Seller Comic Strips - Page 7
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291 Results for Best Seller
View 61 - 70 results for best seller comic strips. Discover the best "Best Seller" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday January 06,
2002
Tags #best practices, #classified budget, #consultanats, #layoffs, #merger, #new ceo, #office relocation, #reorganized, #savings, #startegy, #whole industry, #budget freeze
Transcript
Dilbert points to a diagram that reads, "Year 1." He says, "The project got off to a slow start." Dilbert continues, "First we had the reorganization." Dilbert continues, "Then the merger. And the layoffs." Dilbert continues, "Budget freeze. Office relocation." Dilbert continues, "New Ceo, New consultants, New strategy." Business associates listen as Dilbert continues, "Eventually the whole industry changed and the opportunity evaporated." Dilbert continues, "So we classified our unused budget as "savings" and gave everyone a shirt. A female business associate turns to The Boss and says, "You said you'd show us your 'best practices.'" The Boss replies, "What are you implying?"
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday May 15,
2013
Tags #how-to, #best selliners, #leadership, #sociopathic tendencies, #personality disorders, #read books, #coffee, #metting, #office
Transcript
Dilbert: As you requested, I researched all of the best-selling books on the topic of leadership. Apparently, leadership is the product of sociopathic tendencies plus luck. All other personality traits are inactive ingredients. Wally: Did you actually read all of those books? Dilbert: I only needed to know they were all different.
Thursday July 11,
2013
Tags #thinking, #eureka program, #best ideas, #dry hole, #dude ranch
Transcript
Boss: We are introducing our "Eureka Program" to recognize that the best ideas come from employees. Wally: I have ideas? Boss: Well, that was a dry hole. Wally: Can I turn my cubicle into a dude ranch?
Tuesday July 16,
2013
Tags #work ethic, #work best, #under pressure, #deadline, #corner stone
Transcript
Coworker: Wally, are you almost done with your part of the project? Wally: I work best under pressure, so I wait until the deadline is almost here. Coworker: What if something more important comes up and you don't have time? Wally: That's the cornerstone of my system.
Saturday February 22,
2014
Tags #costumes, #deception, #employees, #ordinary workers, #new employee, #best way, #kill boss, #kindness, #strangling w intestines, #business
Transcript
Boss: Hello, ordinary workers. I am a new employee just like you. Alice: We're discussing the best way to kill our boss. Boss; You could kill him with kindness. Alice: I'm leaning toward strangling him with his own intestines.
Friday March 07,
2014
Tags #stress, #experiment, #flattened organization, #best play, #beat each other, #coffee, #mugs, #smooth transition, #science
Transcript
Boss: Our experiment with flattened organization failed. I'm your boss again. Dilbert: I think our best pay here is to beat each other to death with our coffee mugs. Boss: No one said the transition would be smooth. Dilbert: Make the first one count.
Saturday April 19,
2014
Tags #best advice, #insignificant advice, #worst advice, #be true to yourself, #doesn't mean anything
Transcript
Boss: The best advice anyone ever gave me was "be true to yourself." Dilbert: That literally doesn't mean anything. Wally: I usually don't like to get involved, but you make me curious what the worst advice was.
Monday June 02,
2014
Tags #hypocrisy, #managers & supervisors, #wages, #world records set, #best employee, #job performance, #no raise, #drug enhancing drugs, #injected against will, #leadership, #business, #money
Transcript
Boss: You've set several world records for best employee job performance. But I can't give you a raise because you used job performance enhancing drugs. Dilbert: You injected me against my will. Boss: It would be leadership if you wanted to do it.
Saturday August 09,
2014
Tags #friendship, #managers & supervisors, #netwrok, #career, #weird and creepy, #send email, #best friend, #relationships, #business
Transcript
Asok: Would you mind if I network with you to help my career? Boss: I would have said yes, but you made it feel all weird and creepy. Perhaps you could send me email that I won't read. Asok: That makes you my best friend!
Wednesday August 20,
2014
Tags #language, #lawyers, #simple business deal, #best work, #backyard
Transcript
Lawyer: I turned your simple business deal into a flaming pile of excrement. It's some of my best work. I don't even understand it myself. Boss: Look what just landed in your backyard. Company Lawyer