Better Idea Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

831 Results for Better Idea

View 61 - 70 results for better idea comic strips. Discover the best "Better Idea" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager ted, #planned better, #pushed down stairs, #soul left body, #evil entity, #performance reviews

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss pokes his head into Ted's office and asks, "How do you like being a manager, Ted?" Ted replies, "Yesterday my staff pushed me down ten flights of stairs. My soul left my body and now I'm a lifeless evil entity." The Boss says, "Just in time to do performance reviews!" Ted responds, "I couldn't have planned it better."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new compensation, #bonuses paid, #top ten percent, #resigned bitter disgust, #get better jobs

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The company announced a new compensation plan today. Bonuses will be paid only to the top ten percent of the employees." The Boss continues, "In related news, 89% of the employees resigned in bitter disgust. The top ten percent also left, realizing they could get better jobs elsewhere." The Boss concludes, "This could have an impact on those of you who remain." Wally asks, "We get the bonuses?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new product deal, #alert in effect, #danger new idea, #crush o matic

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert stand with the Boss. Dilbert says, "Wally and I came up with a great new product idea!" A voice says over an intercom, "Inspiration alert in effect!!" Another voice says, "Danger! New idea!" An arm extends down and drops a metal casing onto the Boss's head. The intercom says, "State your idea now." There is a large mallet poised over Dilbert's head that has written on it, "Crush-O-Matic." Dilbert says to Wally, "Um, you tell him."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #product idea, #quit, #start business, #run new company, #cucbilces, #immoral, #people already in hell

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Wally, "If this company won't use our product idea let's quit and start our own business!" Wally responds, "Why quit? We can run our new company from our cubicles and get paid too." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't that be immoral?" Wally says, "That's only an issue for people who aren't already in hell."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #director of marketing, #annoying, #illogical, #whack, #better owner, #salary to earnings

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally stand in front of Ratbert who is standing on a desk. Dilbert says, "Ratbert, we'd like you to be the Director of Marketing for the company we're starting." Ratbert says, "Okay! What do I do?" Dilbert responds, "Be as annoying and illogical as you can. We'll whack you in the head with balled-up socks to make you shut up." Ratbert lies on the table after being beaten with socks. Dilbert says, "It's definitely better to be an owner than an employee." Wally says, "Let's link his salary to earnings! Hee hee!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #humiliate employees, #employee recognition, #worthless award, #pocket lint, #better job

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert sits at his desk thinking, "When I'm in a bad mood, I like to think of ways to humiliate the employees." Catbert thinks, "Hmm . . . How about an employee recognition program with a thoroughly worthless award." Catbert purrs. The Boss hands Dilbert a plaque and says, "It's pocket lint from a vice president's trousers. He was wearing them on the day he left for a better job."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert consulting, #credibility, #money, #better spent consulting, #downsizing, #analysis, #upgrade deluxe service, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dogbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I hired the Dogbert Consulting Company to add credibility to my decisions." Dogbert wears a sorcerer's hat. Dogbert says, "As my analysis shows, it's much better to give your money to me than to waste it on future downsizees such as yourselves." Wally asks, "What analysis? This is a page ripped out of the magazine in our lobby." Dogbert replies, "Perhaps you should upgrade to my deluxe service."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wendy, #new secretary, #time to process, #pay increase, #on desk, #three months, #more is not better

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol tells Dilbert, "This is Wendy, my new secretary." Dilbert replies, "I didn't know secretaries could have secretaries." Dilbert asks, "Now will you have time to process my pay increase? It's been on your desk for three months." Carol and Wendy laugh. Dilbert thinks, "Here's another case where more is not better."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #good idea, #nurture passion, #rebellious employees, #sarcastic employees, #startegies, #wearing culottes

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "From now on, we'll nurture the passion of our rebellious employees and form strategies around them." Wally says, "We don't have any rebellious employees. The last one got fired for wearing culottes on casual day." The Boss says, "It was such a good idea in my head." Wally says, "We still have some sarcastic employees. Can you work with that?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #monkeys, #pick stocks, #dogbert mutual fund, #better professional, #employee only monkeys, #high fees, #hiring the best, #paid commercial

View Transcript

Transcript

On television, Dogbert speaks in a paid commercial about his mutual fund. Dogbert says, "Studies have shown that monkeys can pick stocks better than most professionals." The Boss watches the tv commercial. Dogbert says, "That's why the Dogbert mutual fund employs only monkeys." Dogbert sits at a desk surrounded by monkeys. Dogbert says, "Yes, our fees are high, but I don't apologize for hiring the best."