Black And White Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

80 Results for Black And White

View 61 - 70 results for black and white comic strips. Discover the best "Black And White" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cat, #Wally, #black mail, #cat nip, #told truth, #came clean, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: "Can you tell me who complained about my off-color e-mail joke? Catbert: "No, no, no." "All conversations with human resources are strictly confidential." "Wally, wally, wally, wally, wally, wally, wally..."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #own stock, #black berry, #dumps hares, #spiked, #profit, #buy a helicopter

View Transcript

Transcript

Tv stock analyst Do you own stock in the company you recommended? No, I used my blackberry ti dump my shares as soon as they spiked front my recommendation. This is very wrong now I'm using the profit to buy a helicopter.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #standardize dept.new programming, #language, #mass from hole, #objective, #vendor warning

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I've decided to standardize the department on a new programming language." Dilbert: "With all due respect, that sort of decision should be made by someone who knows his mass from a black hole." Dilbert: "The vendor warned me that you couldn't be objective."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I've written a future best-selling book. "It's part fake autobiography and part plagiarism." Moby Dog Publisher Pitch "You were a large white whale? Wow!" "Until I married Mary Magdalene."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Customers are complaining that our price stickers leave white crud on the product. "Our action plan is to include directions on how to lick it off." "What about fingernails?" "Why would you lick fingernails?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I finished all of my projects in one day." "I also reconfigured the network, wrote seven white papers and applied for nine patents." "Are you naked or am I developing X-ray vision?" "Give a thought to decaf."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quality metric, #bid proposals, #magic powers, #sarcastic, #silly, #joke, #serious, #hand paper, #muggles, #harry potter, #men in black

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Your quality metric for next year is to win 30% more bid proposals." Dilbert says, "No problem. I'll use my magic powers to control how much our competitors bid." The Boss says, "I worry that you're not taking this seriously." Dilbert says, "If the muggles find out, I'll wipe their memories."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new boyfriend, #coworker, #angry, #jack, #clench fist, #restaurant, #waiter, #bent fork, #red flag, #relationship, #bad choice

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "Carol, this is my new boyfriend, Angry Jack." Alice says, "I met him in a restaurant after he beat up a busser for bringing a bent fork." Carol says, "In thie white trash community, we call that a red flag." Alice says, "You weren't there. That fork was a mess."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #legal advise, #economy, #pay

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the intern says, "Pssst! I'm doing black market I.T. support to make up for my recent cut in pay." Man says, "Isn't this illegal?" Asok the intern, "Not according to my black market company lawyer." Alice says, "So it's legal to punch vendors?" Dogbert says, "Sure, if they deserve it." Dogbert says, "That's $100, please."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job, #meeting, #circular, #ridiculous, #talking, #explaining, #angry, #annoyed, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to develop a procedure for creating policies." Dilbert says, "Do we have a policy on how to develop procedures?" The Boss says, "I think someone wrote a white paper on that." Dilbert says, "What's the procedure for finding white papers?" The Boss says, "Maybe you could ask around." Later that night Woman says, "So, what do you do?" Dilbert says, "I ask around to see if anyone knows about a white paper that talks about a policy for developing procedures to create policies." Dilbert thinks, "You find that sexy." Woman says, "Stop doing the Jedi mind trick!"