Blame Soup Comic Strips - Page 7
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131 Results for Blame Soup
View 61 - 70 results for blame soup comic strips. Discover the best "Blame Soup" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday April 22,
1999
Tags #successful project, #job eliminated, #smartest thing, #fail miserably, #clear strategy
Transcript
A woman (Tina ?) stands in the boss's office. She says, "I just realized that if my project is a success, my job will be eliminated." She says, "The smartest thing to do is to fail miserably and blame it all on your indecisiveness." She says, "I'm happy because I have a clear strategy!" The boss thinks, "I haven't nodded in a while."
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Thursday February 15,
2001
Tags #never thought, #organic pain, #racing toward oblivion, #self delusion, #key to happiness
Transcript
Dogbert says to Dilbert, "The key to happiness is self-delusion." Dobert says to Dilbert, "Don't think of yourself as an organic pain collector racing toward oblivion." Dilbert says, "I've never had that thought... Until now." Dogbert says, "Don't blame me; I said don't."
Thursday November 22,
2001
Tags #elbonia, #business plan, #expanded offering, #pet grooming, #lingerie, #as agency, #bug in bikini
Transcript
Headline: In Elbonia. Two Elbonians point to a diagram. One says to Dilbert, "Our business plan was to sell mud to people who live in mud." The Elbonian continues, "Later we shrewdly expanded our offerings to include pet grooming and lingerie." The diagram is now a picture of lingerie. The Elbonian continues, "Frankly, I blame our ad agency for what happened next." He holds up a picture of a pig in lingerie.
Monday July 15,
2002
Tags #30 thousand employees, #emails jokes per week, #file bankruptcy, #lost prodcutivity, #ten million, #holding employee responsible
Transcript
Catbert says to Tina, "Tina, our records show that you forward an average of nineteen e-mail jokes per week." Catbert continues, "Each joke goes to 30,000 employees, costing us ten million per year in lost productivity." Catbert concludes, "We plan to blame you when we file for bankruptcy next week." Tina is visibly worried.
Wednesday October 02,
2002
Tags #nitwit hates ogre, #ogre ate nitwit, #borrow nit iwt, #requisition, #work, #coffee room, #break room, #ogre, #nit wit, #coworkers, #new hires
Transcript
Dilbert and Alice are at the coffee machine. Alice says, "My project is being stalled because my nitwit hates my ogre, and my #$&%! won't do any work." Dilbert responds, "My ogre ate my nitwit and my #$&%! is trying to blame me for it." Alice asks, "Do you want to borrow my nitwit?" Dilbert responds, "No, I have a requisition in."
Wednesday August 20,
2003
Tags #scolded by employee, #boss late, #dumb move, #irish line dancing, #mail document, #late bid
Transcript
Dilbert: "And you failed at your primary objective of winning a bid for the galatikus job." "That's because you said you'd deliver the bid on time, but you got seduced by Irish line-dancing lessons and forgot to mail it!" The Boss: "I can't believe you're trying to pin the blame on the Irish."
Thursday October 09,
2003
Tags #management retreat, #hawaii, #how many employees, #down size, #pay of trip, #against helicopter ride
Transcript
The boss: "The management retreat in Hawaii was productive." "We calculated how many employees we needed to downsize to pay for the trip." Ted: "Don't blame me, Ted. I voted against the third helicopter ride."
Saturday July 28,
2012
Tags #gadgets, #siri, #server outage, #deploying air bag, #tailbone, #vestigal, #bluetooth
Transcript
Dilbert: Siri, how can I avoid blame for our server outage? Siri: Deploying coccyx air bag. Wally: So your tailbone isn't vestigial? Dilbert: Nope. And apparently it has bluetooth.
Tuesday November 02,
2004
Tags #invent nanotech stem cells, #point to hand, #almost done, #prnak, #give high five, #crush them, #blame
Transcript
Dilbert: "My boss wants me to invent nano-technology stem cells because it sounds good." DOgbert: "Try pointing to your empty hand and saying, 'you can't see them but they're almost done!'" "Then trick him into giving you a high-five and yell, 'you crushed them! Aaag!!!'"
Thursday May 19,
2005
Tags #no budeget, #give raisem, #business trip las vegas, #four million, #bathrub, #flooded five floors, #bartenders
Transcript
The Boss: "Don't blame me, but there's no budget to give you a raise this year." Alice: "Why not?" The boss: "My business trip to Las Vegas cost four million dollars because I passed out in the bathtub with the water running and flooded five floors." The boss; "The bartenders there are totally irresponsible."