Boss Lists Faults Comic Strips - Page 7
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1000 Results for Boss Lists Faults
View 61 - 70 results for boss lists faults comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Lists Faults" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday September 07,
1991
Tags Dilbert, the boss, dispel, sexist, treament, female, egineers, directors, agreed, fellow, betty, company, women's, rest, room
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert and Betty, "I want to dispel the myth that we're sexist in our treatment of female engineers." The Boss continues, "The directors have agreed to award Betty the title of company 'fellow.'" Betty asks, "Fellow?" The Boss says, "You'll still use the women's rest room of course."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday September 14,
1991
Tags Dilbert, the boss, dance, paycheck, mine, twice, big, money, buy, happiness
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss dangles a check from his fingers and says, "It's pay day." The Boss yells, "Ha ha!! Dance for your paycheck!! Ha ha ha!! Mine is twice as big!!" The Boss walks away thinking, "And they say money can't buy happiness."
Tuesday September 17,
1991
Tags Dilbert, presentation, big, boss, topic, geometry, major, work, somehow, hour, rectangles
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, put together a presentation for the Big Boss's staff meeting." Dilbert asks, "On what topic?" The Boss replies, "I hear the Big Boss was a geometry major, so let's work that in somehow." The Boss asks, "Can you do an hour on the many uses of rectangles?"
Friday September 20,
1991
Tags Dilbert, the boss, Wally, unnatural, magnificent, puppet, buy, us, customer, memorize
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert and another employee, "We're making a company commercial. Memorize these lines." Dilbert reads, "I'm Wally! I was specially bred to serve you and take abuse, O magnificent customer." Dilbert says, "It sounds a little unnatural." The woman reads, "I'm Raquel. I'll be your love puppet if you buy from us."
Tuesday October 22,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Wally, severance, package, krazy, glued, farm, animals, still, boss, deal, bureaucracy, fire, meeting, run, long, animal, behavior, the boss
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally, the Boss and a man sit at a conference table. Dilbert asks Wally, "Any luck trying to get fired?" Wally replies, "No . . But I'll get that severance package yet." Wally continues, "This morning I Krazy-glued farm animals to the Boss, but he STILL won't deal with all the bureaucracy to fire me." The Boss has a chicken glued to his head and a pig and a cow glued to each arm. The Boss says, "The staff meeting may run a little long today."
Monday November 18,
1991
Tags ceo, Dilbert, the boss, alice, announcing, staff, reduction, expenses, paid, year, risky, cut
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert and a woman, "Our CEO is announcing a ten-percent staff reduction to cut expenses." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Question: didn't our CEO get paid twenty million dollars this year?" The Boss replies, "Yes . . ." The Boss continues, "But risky jobs deserve higher pay." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Question: didn't you say WE were getting cut?"
Tuesday November 19,
1991
Tags Dilbert, the boss, alice, staff, cuts, dart, chart, blind folded, slayed, johnson, decisive, management
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert and two other employees, "The staff cuts will be determined by tossing a dart at the organization chart while blindfolded." The Boss puts on a blindfold and throws the dart. Someone screams. A woman says, "You slayed Johnson!" The Boss replies, "Boy, talk about decisive management!"
Thursday November 21,
1991
Tags Dilbert, the boss, profits, low, training, class, cute, jumpy
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, profits are too low. I've got to let you go . . ." Dilbert says, "What!!" The Boss continues, ". . . To a training class." The Boss walks away thinking, "They're so cute when they get jumpy."
Monday December 02,
1991
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, coworker, the boss, zimbu, monkey, zoo, keepers, special, program, insult, intelligence, workers
Transcript
The Boss points to a monkey and says, "Dilbert, your new co-worker is Zimbu the Monkey." The Boss says, "Zimbu learned English from the zoo keepers in a special program." Dilbert says, "This monkey is an insult to the intelligence of the other workers and I!" Zimbu corrects Dilbert, "Other workers and 'me,' not 'I.'"
Monday December 23,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Wally, the boss, emplopyees, empowered, decisions, empowerment, concept, productive, fired, work
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and another employee, "From now on, all employees are empowered to make their own decisions." The Boss continues, "Empowerment is the concept of the nineties. You'll be happier and more productive." Wally says, "You're fired, Dilbert." Dilbert replies, "No, YOU are!" The woman says, "I'll never work hard again!"