Boss Tells Engineers Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for boss tells engineers comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Tells Engineers" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #exit strategy, #serial talker, #infinite unrelated, #engineers

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Boss: Talk to Allen about this. Dilbert: I'll need an exit strategy. He's a serial talker. I'll be trapped for hours while he strings together infinite, unrelated stories. Boss: Engineers have weird problems. Dilbert: What could I eat that would make me puke in ten minutes?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 1991's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #department, #machines, #filled, #bird, #bobs, #head, #three, #birds, #job

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Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I've decided to replace your department with machines." The Boss points to a toy on the desk and says, "Your job will be filled by this little bird that bobs his head up and down." Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . Then I said 'Ha! It would take at least THREE of those birds to do MY job!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #dispel, #sexist, #treament, #female, #egineers, #directors, #agreed, #fellow, #betty, #company, #women's, #rest, #room

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Betty, "I want to dispel the myth that we're sexist in our treatment of female engineers." The Boss continues, "The directors have agreed to award Betty the title of company 'fellow.'" Betty asks, "Fellow?" The Boss says, "You'll still use the women's rest room of course."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #can-o-matic, #restroom, #stall, #randomly, #fires, #pink, #slip, #backs, #expressions, #security, #cameras

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Dogbert points to a picture of a bathroom and tells the Boss, "As your consultant, I recommend the 'Can-O-Matic' to reduce staff levels." Dogbert points to a picture of a person falling out a building window and explains, "Disguised as a restroom stall, the Can-O-Matic randomly fires people by slapping a pink slip on their backs and catapulting them out of the building." The Boss says, "But I won't get to see the expressions on their faces." Dogbert replies, "Well, we could fling them past the security cameras here . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #the boss, #Wally, #rewriting, #wiseguy, #shocks

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Dilbert arrives at home wearing a headband with an antenna on it. Dilbert tells Dogbert, "The Boss is making us wear these things on our heads so he can give us painful shocks whenever he wants." Dilbert says, "I'm rewriting mine so it redirects the signal to Wally." Dogbert says, "I'm sure he'll see the humor in that." The Boss presses a button on his belt and says to Dilbert, "Okay, wiseguy, do you want more of this?!" Dilbert replies, "Maybe one more." In the background, Wally receives several electric shocks.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #eliminated, #tedious, #consuming, #process, #computer

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Dilbert shows the Boss new computer hardware and tells him, "For only twenty-five thousand dollars I've eliminated many tedious and time-consuming processes." The Boss asks, "What would be an example of one of those tedious and time-consuming processes?" Dilbert replies, "Well, there was the process of sitting around and wishing I had more computer stuff . . ." The Boss thinks, "Next time don't ask."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #job security, #psychic

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Dogbert, who is wearing a sorcerer's hat, tells the Boss, "I'll use my powers to read the minds of your employees and get ideas for improving morale." Dogbert says, "Hmm . . . All they care about is romance, ski trips and 'Star Trek.'" The Boss asks, "How about if we give the high performers little key chains with the company logo?" Dogbert says, "I'm getting a blank from this direction."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #worklife balance, #japanese, #sleeping, #productivity, #commuting

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The Boss points to a wall of circular openings and tells Dilbert, "I borrowed a Japanese work custom - sleeping tubes!" The Boss explains, "No more wasted time commuting. If you keel over from exhaustion we'll just cram you into a sleep tube." Dilbert asks, "Which tube is mine?" The Boss replies, "You don't get a personal tube unless you're employee of the week."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #business meeting, #fitness, #money

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Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Congratulations, Mister Dogbert. You submitted the lowest bid for creating our corporate fitness program." The Boss continues, "The other bidders wanted money. You're the only one who offered to do it just for the laughs." The Boss continues, "Although I don't see what's so funny about it." Dogbert replies, "Engineers . . . Aerobics . . . Think about it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 1994's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #good tatse, #home to change, #shut up wally, #casual dress

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The Boss: I realize that casual dress day isn't easy for you engineers.... The boss; But you've exceeded the bounds of good taste. Ive got to send you home to change. Dilbert: Shut up wally. wally: I heard they were back! I swear!