Search Results for "bring bags"
Share October 09, 1994's comic on:
"I brought Dilbert, in case you have any technical questions about our product." "Heh-heh...engineers don't know how to lie. The truth will be mine." "Uh-oh." "Ted said your product is bug-free. Is that true Dilbert?" "Well, yes, that's true." "I mean, basically true. Technicaly true. Sort of." "No-o-o!! It's a lie! All the bugs were reclassified as security features just to make the ship date!!" "And we both think you could be attractive if you'd just do SOMETHING with your hair." "Why did I bring you along?" "The evidence suggests that you're stupid."
Share January 04, 1999's comic on:
Caption: Catbert: H.R. Director" Catbert has the sadistic nut in his office. Catbert says, "Your co-workers say you're a sadistic nut." Catbert says, "Gimme five, you big nut! and keep up the good work!" Catbert says, "Hey, I'm having a party on Saturday. Can you make it?" The sadistic nut says, "Sure! I'll bring my spinach dip."
Share July 28, 1999's comic on:
Dilbert works at his computer. A man with a large mustache hands dilbert a piece of paper and says, "My name is Juan Delegator. I bring you an assignment." Dilbert looks at the sheet and says, "This is YOUR assignment. You're trying to get me to do your work." Juan says, "Teamwork!" Dilbert says, "Well I guess I could do you a favor." Juan holds out a pair of scissors and says, "And I wouldn't say now to a haircut."
Share October 02, 2000's comic on:
Catbert is behind a desk talking to the union steward. Catbert says, "What new evil do you bring me, Union Steward Stuart?" The union steward says, "Employees should not be allowed to move company computers. That's union work." Catbert says, "That's old evil." Stuart says, "It's new if we include PDAs and laptops." Catbert says, "I like the cut of your giblets."
Share June 22, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert looks at a menu in a restaurant and says, "Bring me $35 worth of food, including your 15% tip." The waitress reaches for his menu and asks, "If I bring you a penne pasta, will you promise not to build a log cabin on your plate?" Dilbert replies, "I can't promise that." The waitress says, "Well then, we have a situation here."
Share October 08, 2001's comic on:
The Boss says to Asok and Dilbert, "Our CEO has voluntarily slashed his pay from six million per year to four." The Boss continues, "In a written statement he said he wants to 'share the pain.' The Boss asks, "Do you feel better now?" Asok replies, "I make my own underwear from sandwich bags."
Share October 11, 2001's comic on:
The Boss says to Carl, "Carl, you're only a contractor. You have to stop using company resources." Carl mumbles angrily, "Mmn, Nph, Hbm, Mrm!" The Boss replies, "Yes, I know you bring your own air. But you still use our gravity." Carl is taken aback. He mumbles, "Fbm, Gmp, Rkr!" The Boss responds, "If it's not too much to ask, could you hover?"
Share November 12, 2001's comic on:
The Boss says to an employee, "Our CEO's goal is to improve our revenue per employee. So I'm going to fire you and bring you back as a contractor." The employee responds, "Last week his goal was to reduce the number of contractors. So you cancelled my contract and hired me as an employee." The Boss replies, "Well, it looks like someone doesn't like having his cheese moved." The employee looks at The Boss skeptically.
Share October 01, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert is meeting with two managers, an ogre and a nitwit. Dilbert says, "Our project team is composed of a nitwit, an ogre, and a #$&%!" The nitwit asks, "Which one of them is a nitwit?" The ogre raises his hand and says, "You didn't bring donuts. May I eat the nitwit?" Dilbert responds, "Yes." The nitwit says, "Poor guy."
Share October 26, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert's mom is cooking dinner. Dilbert says to her, "Mom, you have to drop your lawsuit against my company. They fight dirty." Dilbert's mom swings around and exclaims, "Bring 'em on! I've been watching my 'Tae Bo' videos! I'll dispatch their goons to hell!" Dilbert says, "They sent me. I'm their goon." Dilbert's mom waves her arms in the air and says, "After dinner, I'm going Billy Bonkers on your butt!"