Bring To Read Comic Strips - Page 7
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322 Results for Bring To Read
View 61 - 70 results for bring to read comic strips. Discover the best "Bring To Read" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 27,
2011
Tags mobile (cell) phones, surveillance, security, employee locator device, smarthone, questions, text to yourself
Transcript
Boss: Security says your employee locator device isn't turned on. Dilbert: My what? Boss: I think you call it your smartphone. Dilbert: I might have some questions. Boss: Put them in a text to yourself. I'll read them later.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday June 06,
2011
Tags review document, comments, research, postpone, plan a, science
Transcript
Boss: I'll review your document and give you my comments this afternoon. Dilbert: No you won't. You'll read one paragraph then tell me to go research something so you can postpone dealing with it. Boss: They know about Plan "A."
Sunday July 10,
2011
Tags anger, quarreling, mastered art, being useless, next level, toxic, toxic people, complain, personal problems
Transcript
Dogbert: Each of you has already mastered the art of being useless at work. It's time to take it to the next level. Today I will teach you how to be toxic. Toxic people talk about two types of things. One: bring up topics that are sure to cause others to fight. Two: complain about your personal problems at every opportunity. Your homework is to practice at work tomorrow. Wally: I mentioned to Alice that you think her plan is kind of lame.
Tuesday July 05,
2011
Tags annoyance, apathy, choosing, comments, two alternatives, recommended option, more expensive
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you read my comments on the two alternatives? Boss: No. Dilbert: I recommended option two because neither plan will work but option one is way more expensive. Boss: I already approved option one. Dilbert: If you need any more help, just let me know.
Thursday July 14,
2011
Tags cruelty, fraternization, friendship, new engineer, ginat dork, star wars chess set, email, set up date, romantic preference, relationships
Transcript
Carol: Have you met the new engineer? He's a gigantic dork. You two would get along great. I'll email him to set up a date with you. Is tomorrow good? Dilbert: Being a dork is not a romantic preference. Carol: He says he'll bring his "Star Wars" chess set.
Friday September 09,
2011
Tags keep brain out, laziness, long and complicated, technical recommendation, thinking, make decision
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you read my technical recommendation? Boss: No. It's too long and complicated. Dilbert: How do you plan to make a decision without reading it? Boss: I'll use my gut. Dilbert: It's probably a good idea to keep your brain out of this. Boss: Quiet! It's saying something. Noise: GROWL.
Tuesday September 13,
2011
Tags deception, electronic mail, answer email, signal to noise, technical problem
Transcript
Boss: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I tried to read it but the signal-to-noise ratio was too low. Boss: So it's sort of a technical problem? Dilbert: Okay.
Wednesday September 14,
2011
Tags correspondence, electronic mail, genius, unfinished product, writing, hallmark of genius, unexpected use of time
Transcript
Boss: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I tried to read it but the signal-to-noise ratio was too low. Boss: So it's sort of a technical problem? Dilbert: Okay.
Monday October 10,
2011
Tags money, prices, aggressive jerks, underpaid nerdling, give her a raise, nice employees
Transcript
Dilbert: I read that aggressive jerks get paid more than nice employees. Alice: Step aside, underpaid nerdling! Boss: Remind me to give her a raise, and I don't know why.
Sunday November 27,
2011
Tags frustration, gadgets, smartphone interface rage, perfect storm, bad interface design, chubby fingers, poor signal strenth, smashing phone, frustrated, can't survive, lesser of two eveils
Transcript
Dilbert: Whoa! Watch out. I've read about this. It's called smartphone interface rage. It's caused by the perfect storm of bad interface design, chubby fingers, and poor signal strength. He'll get so frustrated that he'll consider smashing his phone. Then he'll realize he can't survive without his phone and he'll be twice as frustrated. We have to do something. Wally: Run as fast as you can into the wall! It will take your mind off of your phone! Sometimes the best you can hope for is that the lesser of two evils is the funny one.