Build Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

123 Results for Build

View 61 - 70 results for build comic strips. Discover the best "Build" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 1997's comic on:


Tags #marketing dept, #engineering dept, #other engineers, #careless mistake, #need nets, #rope, #tranquilizer darts, #askengineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Marketing Department: A guy walks by a table and says, "Hey! It's a magazine!" He reaches for it. Engineering Department: A loud speaker says, "Danger! A magazine has been discovered in marketing!" Alice looks scared. Alice pokes her head into Dilbert cubicle and says, "Marketing has a magazine!" Dilbert gasps and his hair stands on end. Dilbert heads for the War Room. He says, "Gather the other engineers. We must get that magazine." Alice says, "Check." Dilbert says to Alice, Asok and Wally, "We think is was a careless mistake by someone in the mail department." Dilbert says, "As you know, there is nothing more dangerous than a marketing person with a little bit of knowledge." Dilbert points to a diagram on the dry-erase board. He says, "We know where the magazine will be read. We need nets, rope and traquilizer darts." The marketing guy starts to enter the men's restroom as a darts flies towards his neck. He thinks, "I'll have to ask engineering to build one of these space staions..."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 1999's comic on:


Tags #no engineers, #product planning, #art history majors, #party, #cloak of invisibility, #students, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is in a metting with another man and a woman. The man says, "We didn't include engineers in the product planning sessions because.... um.. because...." The woman says, "Because we were art history majors in college." The man says, "Par-r-r-r-rty!" The woman says, "How soon can you build the cloak of invisibility?" The man says, "Let the man think, Clover."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 1999's comic on:


Tags #leave so soon, #sidewalk is cracking, #drainage trench, #sump pumps, #powder keg, #weird yelp

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilmom pushed Dilbert out of her house. Dilmom says, "Thanks for dropping in. Too bad you have to leave so soon." Dilbert stands on Dilmom's front steps and says, "Your sidewalk is cracking. You need to build a drainage trench, with sump pumps." Dilmom looks towards the sky. Dilbert is in his living room and says, to Dogbert, "When I told her she was living in a powder keg she mad a weird yelping sound."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 1999's comic on:


Tags #call center, #customer questions, #working conditions, #inhumane, #innocent employees

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Your project is to build a call center to handle customer questions. Keep the costs downy making the working conditions inhumane. Dilbert: My conscience won't allow me to harm innocent employees. The Boss: we won't be paying enough ti hire any innocent employees.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 1999's comic on:


Tags #call center, #inhumane conditions, #employees, #guilty, #acting under orders, #demonize, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Ive been ordered to build a company call center with inhumane working conditions for the employees. ut I don't feel guilty because Im only acting under orders and maybe they did something to deserve it. I might need your help to demonize them. Dogbert: Im all over it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2000's comic on:


Tags #cep, #obscenely wealthy, #guest house, #build house, #speech writer, #workers, #made him rich, #bragging, #condescending, #truth

View Transcript

Transcript

Ed stands at the podium and says, "As CEO, I thank you for making me obscenely wealthy." Alice, Wally and Dilbert continue to sit and listen. Ed goes on to say, "Yesterday, I built a guest house using bundles of cash as bricks." Ed looks down at his paper, thinking "I need a new speech writer."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2000's comic on:


Tags #dogcart consults, #e commerce sight, #well documented, #flying pigs, #coolest part

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults the Boss. Dogbert says, "My team can build an e-commerce site for you." Dogbert continues, "It will be so well-documented that your I.S. group can easily maintain it." The Boss gathers his employees as he explains, "But the coolest part is that the documentation will be delivered by flying pigs."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2000's comic on:


Tags #enough engineers, #all requests, #sales support, #online data base, #contempt, #disbelief, #mixture

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to The Boss, "We don't have enough engineers to handle all the requests for sales support." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Build an online database to log all the requests." Dilbert says to The Boss, "It might look as if I'm staring at you with a mixture of contempt and disbelief, but I'm actually meditating."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 1998's comic on:


Tags #justin, #job interview, #medical research, #hydroelectric dam, #sound of idealism dying, #fabric covered boxes

View Transcript

Transcript

An interviewee sits at the table across from Dilbert. Dilbert asks, "So...Justin, why do you want to work here?" Justin replies, "I want to find a cure for asthma!" Dilbert replies, "We don't do medical research here." Justin says, "Oh." Justin holds out his arms and says, "Then I want to build the biggest hydroelectric dam in the world!" Dilbert says, "We don't do that either." Justin asks, "What do you do?" Dilbert replies, "We sit in fabric-covered boxes." Justin sits there and a snapping noise sounds above his head. It goes, "Shrivel. Crinkle. Ack!" Dilbert says, "That was the sound of your idealism dying." Justin says, "Show me to my box."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 1999's comic on:


Tags #how to book, #teach people, #winning lottery numbers, #find free real estate, #lose weight, #tubs of ice cream, #strong abs, #see angels, #near death experience, #get rid witnesses

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at Dilberts computer. Dilbert stands in a robe with a cup of coffee. Dogbert says, "I'm writing a comprehensive "how to" book." Dogbert says, "In chapter one, I teach people how to pick winning lottery numbers." Dogbert says, "Chapter two: How to find free real estate in very nice neighborhoods." Dogbert says, "Chapter three: how to lose weight by eating huge tubs of ice cream." Dogbert says, "Chapter four: how to build strong abs by joining a gym and never going." Dogbert says, "Finally, how to see angels by giving yourself a near death experience." Dogbert says, "That last one is just to get rid of all the witnesses." Dilbert thinks, "On the plus side I don't feel so bad about not recycling."