Business People Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for business people comic strips. Discover the best "Business People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wife Starts A Business

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Wife Starts A Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags entrepreneur, business, divorce, marriage, assumption, small business, relationships

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Boss: My wife is starting her own business. Carol: I'm sorry to hear that. How many years have you been married? Boss: She's not leaving me. She's starting a business. Carol: Right. Don't talk about Phase 2. Got it.

Business Agility Influencer

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Business Agility Influencer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, agility, solution, meaningless, useless

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ted: hi, i'm a business agility influencer and solutionist wally: i don't think that means anything ted: why are you the first person to spot that? wally: because i'm useless too!

Humans Getting Wiser

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Humans Getting Wiser - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, psychology, humans, dumb, selfish, wise, interact, people

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dilbert: the more i interact with people, the less i like them. i can't tell if i'm getting wiser or humans are becoming dumber and more selfish. dogbert: humans couldn't get any dumber or more selfish. dilbert: so, you're saying i'm getting wiser?

Elbonian Consultant

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Elbonian Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, consultant, elbonia, people, local, problem, distribution, execute, Opinion, barber

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boss: i hired an elbonian consultant because we couldn't afford anyone local. dilbert: have you ever consulted in this country? elbonian consultant: no, but people are people, so i assume it isn't that different from elbonia. boss: that's enough chitchat. tell us what we should do about the problems in our distribution system. elbonian system: i recommend executing one of your distributors as a warning to the others. boss: i'm going to need a second opinion. elbonian consultant: my second opinion is that your barber must hate your guts.

The Secret To Managing

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The Secret To Managing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, manager, hire, people, smart, steal, success, rumor, job

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boss to catbert: the secret to being a great manager is hiring people who are smarter than you are. then you have to take credit for their successes so they don't take your job. i also find it helpful to start rumors that they steal.

Doubled Income

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Doubled Income - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, business, income, double, insincere, gesture, pandemic, people, suffering, coronavirus, appearance, empathy, face mask

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boss: we doubled our income during the pandemic, and it isn't a good look. we need to make some sort of insincere gesture of support for people who are suffering. dilbert: or we could actually help people. boss: i'm thinking more along the lines of a sign in the foyer.

Business Lying

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Business Lying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, managers & supervisors, lying, context, important, acceptable, sick, sarcasm, face mask

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tina: is it lying if i leave out important context from my project updates? dogbert: that's called "business lying" and it is totally acceptable. tina: but it makes me feel sick. dogbert: that's how you know you are doing it right.

Proceed As If Nothing Happened

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Proceed As If Nothing Happened - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accomplish, business, face mask, managers & supervisors, office workers, people, project, technology

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tina: why did you tell our boss i have the wrong people on my project? dilbert: i didn't say that. in fact, i don't even know what you project is trying to accomplish, much less who is working with you on it. will we now proceed as if you didn't hear me say that? tina upset: they are not the wrong people.

They Said You'd Say That

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They Said You'd Say That - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, government, bald, people, camps, internment camp, believe, false

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tina: i saw on the news that the government plans to round up all bald people and out them in camps. wally: you should be embarrassed for believing a story so obviously false. tina: they said you'd say that.

Customers Are Dead People

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Customers Are Dead People  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, customer, lists, dead, alive, lie, activist, sarcasm

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dilbert: activists are accusing us of padding our customer list with the names of dead people. boss: that's a lie. those customers were alive when they bought our products. dilbert: did they die while using them? boss: let's hope the activists don't ask that question.