Buy Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

265 Results for Buy

View 61 - 70 results for buy comic strips. Discover the best "Buy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Buy One Elbonian

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Buy One Elbonian - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags slave, slaves, slavery, owner, obliviousness, nuance, help, maid, maids, servant, servants, semantics

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I hear you're a slave owner now. CEO: That is unfair. I buy a few Elbonians on the Internet and suddenly I'm the "slave owner" guy. Alice: You are literally an owner of slaves. CEO: I prefer to think of them as bad negotiators.

Boss Makes Dilbert Get Buy In

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Makes Dilbert Get Buy In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, purpose, use, useful, threat

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'll approve this if you get buy-in from the rest of the department. Dilbert: What value are you adding to that scenario? Boss: I'm not firing you. Dilbert: In that case, keep up the good work.

Tina Gives Buy In

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Gives Buy In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags negotiation, money, price, cost, value

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need everyone's buy-in on my project. Tina: You can have my buy-in for $25. Dilbert: Ted only charged me $15. Tina: It isn't my fault that Ted is a bad negotiator.

Money Can't Buy Happiness

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Money Can't Buy Happiness  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, work, motivation, meaning, money, raise, wages, excuses, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I want a raise. Boss: Money can't buy happiness. Dilbert: Then why do people work? Boss: To avoid unhappiness. Dilbert: What's my best-case scenario here? Boss: I'll motivate you toward a neutral, zombie-like existence.

Buy An Adapter

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Buy An Adapter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sarcasm, stupidity, technology, Dilbert, business, network, adapter

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: the hardware you ordered is not compatible with our network. boss: just buy an adapter. dilbert: i don't think anyone makes an adapter that can fix stupidity.

Not A Monopoly

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Not A Monopoly - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, senior managment, ceo, government, monopoly, product, essential, modern, life, competition, company, compete, buy out, fail, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: the government is threatening to regulate us like a monopoly. boss: are we not a monopoly? ceo: we are simply a company that makes an essential product for modern life, and we have no real competition. boss: that sounds like a monopoly. ceo: no, we are not because other companies could compete with us if they wanted. boss: and of they tried? ceo: as soon as they got some traction we'd buy them and shut them down. dilbert: so... they would fail every time. ceo: but they could try.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boats, business ethics, new boat, engineers, skills, boss's boat, picture, nautical interests

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Who wants to see a picture of my new boat? Dilbert: That's a very good question. If we consider the fact that we work much harder than he does... Carol: And we have valuable engineering skills, whereas he can't operate the GPS in his SUV... and for some reason we don't get paid enough to buy impressive boats. Dilbert: And we have no nautical interests whatsoever. I think your best bet is people who don't know you. Man: And you are? Boss: This only works if we don't get too familiar.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags terrorists, work ethic, elbonian leftists, kidnapped, ransom demands, three pack tube socks, carton milk, six yams, making life nightmare, gives in to kidnappers

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol says, "Elbonian leftists kidnapped Asok. They have ransom demands." Carol says, "They want a three-pack of tube socks, a carton of milk, and six yams." The Boss says, "Maybe you could buy that stuff on your way home." Carol says, "You're making my life a nightmare! Just keep him!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, computers & peripherals, software, install and test, database software, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults Dogbert: I recommend that you buy the Dogbert database software. Boss: Did I just pay a consultant to recommend his own company's software? Dogbert: I'm totally objective. Boss: Who would install and test it? Dogbert: Maybe a consultant who knows the product?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, free app, stealing personal info, lodge complaint, monthly subscription, package, history of contaxcts, sells itself

View Transcript

Transcript

Customer: Your free app is stealing my personal information. I'd like to lodge a complaint. Dogbert: Buy our monthly subscription package or I'll send your browser history to your contacts. Dilbert: How's your app going? Dogbert: It practically sells itself.