Cancel Class Comic Strips - Page 7
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163 Results for Cancel Class
View 61 - 70 results for cancel class comic strips. Discover the best "Cancel Class" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday September 08,
2002
Tags #cancel meetings, #manage email, #communicate, #wants everything emailed, #automated email
Transcript
The Boss approaches Carol and says, "Carol, cancel all of my meetings forever." The Boss continues, "From now on, I plan to stay in my office and manage by e- mail." Carol responds, "You still need to communicate some things in person." The Boss replies, "No, I don't. I can do it all by e-mail." The Boss types, "Carol, e-mail me the budget." He hits "Send." The Boss sits back and thinks, "And now, like magic.." The computer alerts, "You have 1 message." The e-mail reads, "Auto-reply: Carol is out of the office." The Boss looks out and sees Carol at her desk. Carol waves. The Boss thinks, "We have a situation here."
Sunday August 27,
2000
Tags #replaced computers, #training class, #ignored requests, #sit unused, #slow way, #computer manual, #no time, #class, #coat, #invest, #plan future
Transcript
Girl: So they replaced our computers and never trained us. I told them we needed a training class but they ignored my requests. So our computers sit there unused while we do our work the slow way. Dilbert: why don't you real the computer manual? Girl: I don't have time for that! Dilbert: But you have time for a class? It doesn't add up. Girl: Im cold. Dilbert: You should try wearing a coat. they're terrific.
Thursday July 18,
2013
Tags #cancel service, #deception, #dogcart document, #garbage trucks, #service business, #storage
Transcript
Boss: We've been using The Dogbert Offsite Document Storage Service for five years, and frankly, I'm concerned. Your service trucks look suspiciously like garbage trucks. I would cancel your service if I could find the contract. Dogbert: It's in "storage."
Sunday July 28,
2013
Tags #deception, #laziness, #training class, #training expenses, #vendor, #permission, #proactive, #alleged class, #truts, #aggressiveness, #uselessness
Transcript
Wally: I accomplished nothing this week because I was in a training class. Boss: I didn't approve any training expenses. Wally: A vendor paid for it. Boss: You didn't ask for permission. Wally: I'm proactive and empowered. Boss: And what was the name of this alleged class? Wally: Advanced scripting structure for internetwork optimization of SQL databases. Boss: That doesn't sound real. Wally: I can't do my job if you don't trust me! Do you like how I combined aggressiveness with my baseline level of uselessness? I have a good feeling about this. Dilbert: You might need more aggressiveness.
Thursday August 01,
2013
Tags #apathy, #managers & supervisors, #no confidence, #management, #low score, #cancel surveys, #business
Transcript
Boss: According to the employee survey, 98% of you have no confidence in management. Rest assured, management will make sure we never again get such a low score. CEO: Cancel all future employee surveys.
Wednesday October 30,
2013
Tags #eating & drinking, #engineers, #etiquette & ethics, #crone, #etiquette class, #fork, #teach things
Transcript
Boss: I hired a desiccated crone to teach an etiquette class to you engineering heathens. She'll help you stop eating your business lunches like kidnap victims. Crone: When do you use this fork? Alice: When I'm too lazy to make a shiv?
Wednesday January 29,
2014
Tags #cowardice, #terrorists, #international terrorist, #cancel order, #big hit earnings, #decimate value, #stock options, #transfer, #poor safety record
Transcript
Dilbert: I discovered that the customer for our fleet sale of commercial drones is an international terrorist. Now we have to cancel the order, take a big hit to earnings, and decimate the value of your stock options in the company. CEO: Or... I could transfer you to a department that has a poor safety record and hope for the best.
Wednesday March 16,
2016
Dogbert's Negotiating Class
Tags #book, #deal, #negotiating, #negotiation, #self help, #guest artist, #josh shipley
Transcript
Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's one-week training class for negotiators. I believe in leading by example, so this entire course will involve me trying to persuade you to buy my book. If everyone in the class buys my book, you can all have the rest of the week off. Voice: Done.
Thursday March 17,
2016
Dogbert's Class Learns Nothing
Tags #distraction, #strategy, #guest artist, #josh shipley
Transcript
Boss: The employees who took your class on negotiating are complaining that they learned nothing. Dogbert: I heart those same employees scheming to vandalize your network. Boss: Now that's all I can think about! How did you do that? Dogbert: Gotta go.
Saturday October 14,
2017
Dogbert's Negotiating Class
Tags #negotiating, #deception, #sales, #manipulation, #deal, #business
Transcript
Boss: I approved your request to take a negotiating class. Dilbert: Why did you change your mind? Boss: The instructor offered a great deal. Narrator: Earlier that day. Dogbert: Would you like to spend other people's money to get rid of Dilbert for a few days? Boss: Sold!