Career Talk Comic Strips - Page 7

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491 Results for Career Talk

View 61 - 70 results for career talk comic strips. Discover the best "Career Talk" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 1999's comic on:


Tags #dogberts tech support, #hard reboot, #listen carefully, #rent a van, #dynamite, #stolen dynamite, #main relay station, #talk, #aim bazooka, #van

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Dogbert sit at a computer. Caption: "Dogbert's Tech Support" Dogbert says, on the phone "You'll need to do a hard reboot. Listen carefully." Dogbert says, "Rent a van and fill it with stolen dynamite. Park it near the power company's main relay station." Dilbert says, "Can we talk?" Dogbert wags his tail and says on the phone, "...Now aim the bazooka at the van."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 1999's comic on:


Tags #talk now wally, #meet deadline, #poor planning, #nicknames for cofee, #java wave, #bean brew

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Wwally stands behind Alice's desk. Alice says, "I can't talk now, Wally. I'm rushing to meet my deadline." Wally says, "Sounds like poor planning. Why must I suffer?" Wally says, "Do you mind if I stay here and think up new nicknames for coffee? Java wava... bean brew.."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 1999's comic on:


Tags #exiled, #quality assurance, #doomed career, #old dept., #engineering, #break time

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Asok: im exiled yto the quality assurance department, My career is doomed. I can't let my old department forget me. They're my only hope of returning to engineering, It must be break time in the QA department, Wally: I'll get the fire hose,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 1999's comic on:


Tags #ruin career, #upstart embryo, #replaces me, #volunteers, #give constructive criticism, #human resources, #don't like attitude, #business

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Wally stares at the embryo on the desk. Wally thinks, "I'd better ruin the career of this upstart embry before he replaces me." Catbert arrives at the cubicle and says, "I need volunteers to give constructive criticism to human resources." Catbert walks down the hall holding the embryo. Catbert says, "I don't like your attitude."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 1999's comic on:


Tags #compensation, #manage, #career as director, #conpsiracy, #incompetent emplyees

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Catbert stands on The Bosses desk and says, "Your compensation is related to the number of people you manage." Catbert says, "Likewise, my career as director of human resources depends on the quantity of employees." Alice and Dilbert look at a group of dumb people. Alice says, "It's as if there were a conspiracy to hire hordes of incompetent employees."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 1998's comic on:


Tags #annual inspirational talk, #work hard, #competition, #feel afraid, #quality of lives, #too afraid, #management incompetetnce

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The Boss stands in casual clothes and says, "It's time for my annual inspirational talk." The Boss says, "We must work twice as hard, or the competition will crush us!" Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit in front of the Boss as he continues, "I want you to feel afraid twenty-four hours a day." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: wouldn't hat lower the quality of our lives?" Wally says, "Seems like it might." Wally continues, "I'm too afraid to work here now. I wonder if our competitor's are hiring?" Alice raises her hand and asks, "Question: should we continue to be afraid of our own management's incompetence?" The Boss replies, "Let's compromise. I'll agree to cut the meeting short if you'll all agree to feel worse in some way." The Boss leaves the meeting and thinks, "No I remember why I only inspire them once a year."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2000's comic on:


Tags #limbo, #a division of heck, #career limbo section, #wait to be seated

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Dilbert is at the threshold of an entrance bearing the sign: "Limbo, a division of Heck." Phil, the Ruler of Heck, tells Dilbert: "Step inside." Inside, standing by a "Please wait to be seated" sign, Phil informs Dilbert: "You'll be sitting in the Career Limbo section. Goodbye." Arms akimbo, Dilbert thinks to himself: "Jeepers! The service here is terrible!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2000's comic on:


Tags #career, #important assignment, #folder, #office equipment, #problems at home

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The Boss says to Asok, "Asok, this will be the most important assignment in your entire career." The Boss continues, "You must affix the asset tages in this folder to our office equipment." Asok begins to whine outloud, shouting "Bwaa-wah-ah!!" The Boss thinks to himself, "He must be having problems at home."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2000's comic on:


Tags #mordac, #preventer, #information services, #web mistress, #firewall inadequate, #talk cobol baby

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Mordac approaches Ming and says, "I am Mordac, the preventor of information services!" Ming replies, "I am web mistress Ming!" Mordac says to Ming, "Your firewall is inadequate. You must be punished!" Ming responds, "Your HTML is weak! You must be punished!" Mordac holds Ming in his arms tilting her backward and says, "I must have you!" Ming replies, "Talk Cobol to me, baby."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2000's comic on:


Tags #radio, #sing, #don't like to talk, #hum, #pretend radio, #no talking dates

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Ming says to Dilbert as he drives, "I don't like to talk on dates. Do you mind if I hum?" Dilbert replies, "That's okay. I'll pretend you're the radio." Ming begins to hum. Dilbert thinks to himself, "I need a new radio."