Category Changes Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for category changes comic strips. Discover the best "Category Changes" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #good will, #purchased, #redesigned headquarters, #horses rump, #executive suite

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Dogbert: "Now that I have purchased your company's goodwill, I plan to make some changes." "I redesigned your headquarters building." CEO: "What's this part that looks like a horse's rump?" Dogbert: "That's the entrance to the executive suite."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #six months, #task, #simple task, #continuous cahnges, #unclear communication, #short work days, #being lazy

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The Boss: "Why did it take six months to complete this simple task?" Dilbert: "Because of your continuous changes, your unclear communication, and your short work days." The boss: "I'm looking for something more along the lines of you being lazy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #make cahnges, #history suggests, #infinyte loop, #furious ball, #wild about font, #no hope finsihing

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The Boss: Make these changes and run it by me again. Dilbert: "history suggests I have entered an infinite loop of making changes with no hope of finishing." "My life is a furious ball of nothing." The Boss: "And I'm not wild about the font."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hard drive, #too much smut, #film clips, #poor lighting, #move to external, #server, #disabled firewall

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"Alice, my laptop is slowing down. Can you take a look at it?" "Here's the problem. There's too much smut on your hard drive." "I recommend deleting the film clips that have poor lighting." "And here's a whole category that you haven't looked at in weeks." "I'll move those to an external drive in case you need 'em later." "Wally has all this stuff on the server. You don't need it on your laptop." "What the...? You pinhead! You disabled your firewall!" "If you work here long enough, your outrage ends up in all of the wrong places." "Who moved my stapler?!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"And then we'll send the draft for review..." BZZZZZT! "Greetings. I am Wally from the year 2040." "In the future, time travel will be possible but highly unethical." "But it's only unethical if you make the mistake of changing anything from the past." "I was out of coffee so I came here to get a fresh cup. Ah, here we go." "I have to run. Make sure nothing changes because of my visit or it will kill everyone in the future." "Let me be the first to say that this feels awkward."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #product development, #two thirds, #Features, #reduce scope, #change request, #stacks of paper, #mean, #unethical, #passive agressive

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Dilbert: Our budget won't cover all of the product development. We can only do two thirds of the features for that amount. The Boss: reduce the scope of the project by one third. Dilbert: Okay. The boss: but theoretically.... Dilbert: No...dear lord, no. The boss: Id I later give you a change request to add one feature could you do it for the same budget. Dilbert One? sure. DATA GOES IN : MANAGEMENT COMES OUT. One sure changes are free, Carol: where do I put the change requests?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech analyiss, #second opinion, #look stupid, #whistling, #accident, #distribute

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Dilbert: Heres the technical analysis that you ask for, I don't understand any of it. I can't tell if its right or if it would envbrass me. I can't ask for a second opinion with out looking stupid, and I can't distribute it because it might be wrong, I'll out it on this pile and hope something changes. I wonder of its called whistling when only amor comes out, Carol: Should I shred your pile of indecision, The Boss: make it link like an accident.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #first draft, #blah blah blah, #worthless

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Wally: Let me know if you have any changes to my first draft. Coworker: This literally says the words "blah, blah, blah." Are you lazy? Wally: No, I'm worthless. Lazy would have been one "blah."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #obliviousness, #work ethic, #lawyer, #60 page contract, #amendements, #900 contracts, #tax law, #17 managers, #good leaders, #standards, #legal

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Boss: Our lawyer sent over a sixty-page contract renewal that I need you to review. Make sure you compare it to the original contract and all six or seven amendments. Dilbert: Are there six or... seven? Boss: No one really knows. Check out our other nine hundred contracts to make sure this one doesn't violate any of those. Keep in mind our five-year strategic plan and all likely changes to tax law. Then get buy-in from the seventeen managers who hate my guts and will take it out on you. By tomorrow. Good leaders set high standards.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business people, #managers & supervisors, #holacarcy, #underlings, #abusing for years, #boot on neck, #resistance to changes, #business

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CEO: I'm eliminating all management levels and making us a holacracy. Boss: Noooo!!! Please don't make me equal to the underlings I've been abusing for years! In my defense, I thought I would always have my boot on your neck. Dilbert: Shush.