Change Once A Month Comic Strips - Page 7
526 Results for Change Once A Month
View 61 - 70 results for change once a month comic strips. Discover the best "Change Once A Month" comics from Dilbert.com.
The Boss sits at his desk and hands a piece of paper to Alice. The Boss says, "Get my approval at each phase. Finish in one month." Alice looks at the paper and says, "Let's see.. You're on vacation next week. Then you're traveling, then there's an executive retreat..." Alice continues while the Boss appears to listen, "It takes three weeks to get on your calendar... and the project has six phases..." Alice says, "What we have here is guaranteed failure." Alice says, "You've left nothing to chance on this one." Alice says, "I mean, normally there's a bit of uncertainty, but you've..oh." Alice says, "You've slipped into the "Boss Zone" where you can't see or hear employee input." The Boss is a zombie and Alice waves her hand in front of his eyes to no effect. The Boss says to Carol, his secretary, "It's weird. I lost ten minutes, and when I woke up, my doughnuts were gone." A doughnut is stuck on each of The Boss's tufts of hair.
The boss sits at his desk with a huge pile of papers in front of him. The boss thinks, "This one has been on my desk for a month it's critical." The boss thinks, "I'll stick it back in the pile and see if that helps." The boss thinks, "Yes, I feel better already."
Alice and the boss sit at a table. The boss has a lap top in front of him and says, "Tell me what moral issues you have. I'll summarize them under the appropiate categories." Alice says, "My managers are incompetent, arrogant, micro-managing misogynists." The boss says, "That's one under "time of the month."
Dilbert takes his coat off at home. Dilbert says, to dogbert, "My date tried to run away, but I attached a tracking device to her coat." Dilbert holds a microphone and site by his computer. Dilbert says, "Now I'll just compromise a spy satellite and a radio network." Dilbert's date lies in bed at her house. Her radio says, "....So id next weekend is good, nod once."
Alice is standing in front of the Bosses desk, the Boss says, "I can't give you a raise because you came to work on one of your vacation days." The Boss says, "Employees are not allowed to change vacation days without permission." The Boss says, "On an unrelated note, try to be more empowered."
Catbert tells Dilbert: "Dilbert, you've become too aware of reality. I'm sending you to 'Cynics Anonymous.'" Catbert continues: "A higher power will help you regain the naive optimism that once made you a perfect employee." Dilbert says: "Why can't the higher power change me while I'm sitting here?" Catbert answers: "Fluorescent lights block his power."
Wally explains at a meeting: "My idea is to change our department name from engineering to..." He continues: "e-engineering." Wally says: "I'm working on a similar idea for marketing but it's not done yet."
The Engineering Liason says to Dilbert, "Tell me your project status and I'll translate for our clients." Dilbert says, "The project will never be completed because our idiot clients change the requirements every other day." The Engineering Liason responds, "I'll just say you're drunk."
The Boss: The employee of the month is LULU. LULU overcame long odds to win this award. I.E. her name was randomly picked. Wally: Id protest but I don't want to taint my victory of last month.
Catbert says to Alice, "You think you're satisfied with your job." Catbert continues, yelling, "In reality you're just afraid of change!" Walking away and purring, Catbert thinks, "That was some of my best work."