Change Project Comic Strips - Page 7
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913 Results for Change Project
View 61 - 70 results for change project comic strips. Discover the best "Change Project" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday February 18,
1994
Tags resources vailable, common employees, more money, project, all gone, hypocrite boss, no time
Transcript
The Boss: "Although I'm technically the 'Boss' I believe it's my job to make resources available to you, the common employees." Dilbert: "I need more money for my project." The Boss: "Sorry, all gone." Dilbert: "Maybe I'll get on your calendar so we can discuss it." The Boss: I've got twenty minutes next summer."
Thursday April 14,
1994
Tags project dew drop, test report, explodes, beta trial, friendly customers, killed, friendly ones, project ducky
Transcript
The Boss: I agreed to ship Project 'Dewdrop' to some customers for beta testing. Dilbert: Didn't you read my test report? Dewdrop explodes when you plug it in. The Boss: we'll limit the beta trial to friendly customers. Dilbert: we killed all the friendly ones with project ducky.
Wednesday May 11,
1994
Tags project leader, dogcart consulting, shall do bidding, endless variety, expediations, slab of liver, external brain pack, career low
Transcript
"I'm the project leader for the Dogbert Consulting Company. You simple employees shall do my bidding." "I'll be sending you on an endless variety of data-gathering expeditions. That will keep you busy while I do the thinking." "By the way, this may look like a slab of liver but it's an external brain pack." "My career just reached an all time low."
Monday May 16,
1994
Tags important project, marked man, other employees, throw bricks, keep persepctive, suck ups, brick to the head
Transcript
Ted: I'm putting you in charge of an important project which is fully funded." Dilbert: Ima marked man, The other employees will either try to suck up to me for money or throw bricks at me. Ted: Buddy. Dilbert: The trick is to keep a protective ring of suck ups around at all times. Zip.
Tuesday May 17,
1994
Tags build, meeting, project kick off, project manager, super fast microchips, harder to saboatge, business
Transcript
"Thank you all for coming to the project kick-off meeting." "As project manager I've decided not to tell you the purpose of the project. That way it will be harder for you to sabotage it." "Does it require ny super-fast microchips?" "Good lord, no. Don't build any of those...by Tuesday."
Wednesday May 18,
1994
Tags arch nemesis, ttp, ttp project, join
Transcript
Dilbert: Wally would you like to be on my 'TTP' project? Wally: What does 'TTP' stand for? Dilbert: Its short for the TTP Project. Dilbert: I named it myself, So, do you want to join? wally: Id rather be your arch nemesis.
Thursday May 19,
1994
Tags difficult, cooperate, project success, head is full, birdseed, pants glued, soap carving
Transcript
Dilbert: Your department has a reputation for being difficult to work with. But I know we can cooperate to make my project a success. Man: Id love yo help but my head is full of birdseed and my pants are glued to this chair. Dilbert: I'll talk to your boss. Man: Good Luck. He's a soap carving.
Friday May 20,
1994
Tags good inertia, marketing department, project, under funded, uniformed decision, take blame
Transcript
The Boss: How's your project coming along? Dilbert: Its under-funded and doomed. But Ive got some goof inertia going and Im setting the marketing department up to take the blame. The Boss: I feel like I should be doing something here. Dilbert: Ive got you planned to make an uniformed decision next week.
Tuesday May 24,
1994
Tags the boss, Dilbert, project, cooler, acronym, joke, anticipated, beginning, binders, fulfilling, Dogbert, job
Transcript
"I was just reading your project status report." "You say the project is delayed 'due to the ongoing bungling of a clueless, pointy-haired individual.'" "Instead of saying 'due to', it would read better as 'facilitated by'."
Wednesday May 25,
1994
Tags canceling project, cooler acronym, anticipated move, carry empty binders, less fullfilling
Transcript
"I'm cancelling your project so I can give your funding to a project that has a much cooler acronym." "Ha! The joke's on you! I anticipated this move from the beginning and have done nothing but carry empty binders for weeks!" "Being good at your job is less fulfilling than you might think, Dogbert."