Clueless Weasel Comic Strips - Page 7

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74 Results for Clueless Weasel

View 61 - 70 results for clueless weasel comic strips. Discover the best "Clueless Weasel" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2002's comic on:


Tags #impossible assignment, #right place, #reword, #objectives, #match, #analyzed, #feasibility, #project, #discontinue

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Dilbert is home in his bathrobe. He says to Dogbert, "Can you help me weasel out of an impossible assignment?" Dogbert replies, "You came to the right place." Dogbert continues, "Gradually reword the objectives of the project until one day they match what you've already done." Headline: Six Months Later. Dilbert says to The Boss, "I successfully analyzed the feasibility of discontinuing the project." The Boss responds, "Success!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2002's comic on:


Tags #investment baker, #hired wesel, #media questions, #stock holders, #good for stcokholders, #parking lot

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Headline: Dogbert the Investment Banker. Dogbert introduces a weasel to The Boss, "I hired a weasel to teach you how to answer media questions." The weasel says, "No matter what the reporters ask, always give the same answer 'It will be good for stockholders.'" The Boss is answering media questions. A reporter asks, "Is it true that you ran over a stockholder in the parking lot?" The Boss responds, "It'll be good for him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 2002's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #cubicle, #grim reeper, #layoffs, #stranger, #business

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "Human Resources is sending a designated firer to do layoffs." The Boss turns quickly and waves his hands in an employee's face. The Boss says, "If a stranger approaches your cubicle, it means you're toast!" The employee exclaims, "Gaaa!!!" A hooded weasel with a knife approaches Carol. He says, "Hell-o-o-o, Carol." He pauses and then continues, "Can you tell me where Ted sits?" Carol exclaims, "Gaaa!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2003's comic on:


Tags #brainstorm ideas, #employee morale enhancement, #pin the tail, #boss, #employees, #hatred, #low morale, #business

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The Boss says, "Let's brainstorm ideas for 'Employee Morale-Enhancement Day." Alice says, "We could play pin the tail on the pointy-haired weasel whose breath smells like feet." The Boss says to Catbert, "We might need more morale-enhancement days." Catbert replies, "How about this weekend when I'm not here?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2006's comic on:


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"You need to work this weekend." "There's no work to do. I'm waiting for input." "That doesn't matter. Strong leaders make their people work on weekends." "Then he asked me what the clueless leaders do, as if I would know that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2010's comic on:


Tags #agreeing, #meeting, #calendar, #scheduling, #ignorant, #clueless, #business

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Dilbert says, "We agreed on about fifty things today, but you didn't take any notes." Dilbert says, "Let's schedule our next meeting to rehash all the stuff you'll forget from today." Dilbert says, "DO you have your calendar with you?" Morgan says, "No. Why do you ask?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2009's comic on:


Tags #stupidity, #ignorant, #cruel, #clueless, #angry, #yelling

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The boss says, "I hired a temp to cover your job while you're on vacation." The boss says, "She's far more qualified than you, and her stated goal is to replace you but don't worry." Carol says, "How am I supposed to not worry about that?" The Boss says, "yoga?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 2009's comic on:


Tags #asking, #mood, #description, #angry, #mad, #ridicule, #criticism

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Dilbert says, "What kind of mood is he in?" Alice says, "Tired and fussy." Alice says, "Also confused, bumbling, clueless, arrogant, short, bald and pudgy." Dilbert says, "He's right behind you." Alice says, "Add 'Angry.' Good luck."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #marketing department, #robust, #products, #confused, #clueless, #useful, #argue, #stupid, #etiquette & ethics, #waste time, #business

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Dilbert says, "The marketing department has asked us to make our products more robust." Dilbert says, "None of us knows what that means." Dilbert says, "So we can either cancel this meeting and go ask them?" Dilbert says, "Or we can pretend that arguing with each other about the true meaning of 'robust' is just as good." Dilbert says, "While that option is stupid, it would give us the illusion of doing something useful right now." Asok says, "Would it be ethical to ignore the long-term interests of stockholders just ot feel good about ourselves for a few minutes?" Dilbert says, "I think robust means it has lots of features." Wally says, "It means sturdy!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2007's comic on:


Tags #new guy, #huge wesel, #new hires, #credible, #complin, #stop doing, #stop working

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Wally: The new guy is a huge weasel. Don't believe anything he says. The Boss: "You say that about all the new hires so they won't seem credible when they complain about you." Wally: "I'll stop doing it when it stops working."