Cold Calling Comic Strips - Page 7

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109 Results for Cold Calling

View 61 - 70 results for cold-calling comic strips. Discover the best "Cold Calling" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #filling in, #pointy haired boss, #carol is secretary, #administrative assistant, #name calling, #arroagnt

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Wally says to Carol, "Carol, I'm filling in for the pointy-haired boss, so that makes you my secretary." Carol exclaims, "I am an administrative assistant, you stinkin' baboon!" Carol continues, "I will make you pay dearly for your arrogance!" Wally replies, "Could you put a head on this?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #called resources, #too complimentray, #human capital, #demanding hay, #business

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Catbert is sitting on The Boss' desk. Catbert says to The Boss, "I'm tired of calling the employees 'Resources.' It's too complimentary." Catbert continues, "I'm thinking of something along the lines of livestock or human capital." The Boss responds, "I don't want them demanding hay." Catbert says, "Good point. We'll go with human capital."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #client, #to dumb, #embezzle, #dogbert the lawyer, #calling jury dumb

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Dilbert says to a jury, "I will prove that my client is too dumb to embezzle." Dogbert continues, "Or, failing in that, I'll prove that you're too dumb to know he did it." The judge starts, "Mister Dogbert..." Dogbert interrupts, "Don't get me started about you."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dimwitted twins, #free long distance, #low cost video phones

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Dogbert: "My plan is to sell low-cost video-phones to dimwitted identical twins." Dogbert continues, "I'll even throw in free long-distance calling because that's the kind of guy I am." A man looks into a mirror and exclaims, "Gaaa!!! What are you doing at my girlfriend's house????"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #corporate witch hunt, #products stink, #diving rod, #liar, #pormise, #honor of family, #holy

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Headline: Corporate Witch-Hunt. The Boss asks Alice, "Alice, did you tell a reporter that our producs stink?" Alice responds, "I promise on the honor of my family, and on all that is holy, that I did not." Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches from behind with a device in his hands. He says, "So I guess you're calling my divining rod a liar."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office relocation, #cubicle, #air duct, #facilities, #chip out penguin, #cold, #cooler

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"Office relocation." "Some cubicles are slightly less desirable than others." "For example, your new cubicle is below an air duct so it is sometimes cooler than the area around it." "I asked the facilities people to chip out the penguin as soon as possible."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carol away, #sexist commentray, #mis interpret, #copy machine, #name calling, #accidental, #insulted, #anger, #scream, #satisfied

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"My secretary is off, and I need to make copies of this..." "Oh, I get it! You immediately ask the only woman in the department to do it! #!%**$!!" "Lazy #!%*$*!!#" "I was going to ask where the copy machine is, but this works, too."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rat problem, #reporting, #rat bait, #unwashed, #job satisfaction, #calling names, #being mean

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Carol: We're having a problem with the rats in the office. " You might want to upgrade your level of hygiene from "rat bait" to "unwashed."" "I think I just felt my first tingle of job satisfaction."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ex employee, #named ted, #company policy, #weather, #moving lazily

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"Hi. I'm calling to check the references of your ex-employee named Ted." "We have a company policy against giving references. But I'd be happy to discuss the weather with you." "Okay." "The clouds are moving lazily across the sky, and everyone thinks they're stupid."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

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My new strategy is to hire passionate people instead of smart ones. "I curse the air conditioning system that blows such a cold wind!" "I can already feel our stock price going up."