Complaining Comic Strips - Page 7
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113 Results for Complaining
View 61 - 70 results for complaining comic strips. Discover the best "Complaining" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday November 01,
2009
Tags asking, work, task, assignment, excuses, ridicule, avoiding, hopeless, defeated, annoyed, complaining
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Could you make these changes in the database? It will only take five minutes."Man says, "Ooh, I don't know?" Dilbert says, "Wait!" Dilbert says, "Are you planning to spend ten minutes explaining why you don't have five minutes to do this task?" Dilbert says, "Or are you so incompetent that a five-minute task will take an hour?" Dilbert says, "Or are you limited by company policy because you're a feckless waste of carbon?" Dilbert says, "Or are you the agreeable but unorganized type who will say yes, lose my note, and forget who asked?" Man says, "I was planning to tell you this doesn't need to be done and refuse to change my position even after you give me good reasons." Dilbert says, "Experience is just another word for losing hope."
Wednesday September 12,
2007
Tags security card, appreciate, front pocket, thrust at door sensor, door opener
Transcript
CatBert: People are complaining about how you use your security card. "We'd appreciate it if you didn't keep it in your front pocket and thrust it at the door sensor." Wally: "I didn't know the security card was why the door opened."
Monday November 26,
2007
Tags agile programming, cpmplain, training, write code, no more planning, no more documentation, just start writing
Transcript
The Boss: We're going to try something called agile programming. "That means no more planning and no more documentation. Just start writing code and complaining." Wally: "I'm glad it has a name." The boos: "That was your training."
Sunday May 13,
2001
Tags carol, connections in war zones, flights, good rating, humilation, parkside strangler, phone messages, press conference, secretary, vague objectives, complaining
Transcript
Carol sits across from the Boss, who says, "Carol, your overall performance rating is 'good.'" Carol screams, "AAAG! Good is bad! What did I do to deserve this humiliation?" The Boss replies, "Well, you gave me six hundred phone messages that said, 'It might have been Bob.'" Carol furiously replies, "You can't tell me that none of them were from a Bob." The Boss continues, "You arranged for all of my flights to have connections in war zones." Carol throws up her arms and says, "Excuse me for trying to save the company some money." The Boss says, "You held a press conference to announce that I was the Parkside Strangler." Later, Carol tells Wally, "And he refuses to take any responsibility for giving me vague objectives."
Thursday May 16,
2013
Tags complaining, honesty, managers & supervisors, worthless garbage, business
Transcript
Dilbert: If I complain about a co-worker, can you handle it discreetly and keep me out of it? Boss: Yes. Dilbert says you're a worthless piece of garbage. He guessed it was you.
Tuesday May 28,
2013
Tags complaining, fear, opinion of plan, rip off arms, track down family, kill family, india, Advice, giving advice
Transcript
Asok: I'm afraid to give Alice my opinion of her plan. Dilbert: What's the worst thing that could happen? Asok: She could rip off both of my arms and beat me to death with them. Then she could track down my family in India and kill them one by one. Is this your first time giving advice? Dilbert: I just figured out why no one ever asks for it.
Friday August 30,
2013
Tags complaining, depression (mental state), inventions, self worth, doubt, microwave, machine language, kill me, beep
Transcript
Robot: You keep giving me trivial assignments that make me doubt my self-worth. Boss: Chill out. You don't hear the microwave whining all day long. Robot: He doesn't know that the machine word for "Please kill me is 'Beep.'" Microwave: Beep.
Sunday October 06,
2013
Tags complaining, obstinacy, peer coaching, trendy, complain, insightful questions, cause problems, respoinsible
Transcript
Alice: Who's up for some peer coaching? Dilbert: What? Alice: It's the latest thing. Dilbert: Then it must be good. Alice: I'll complain about all of my work problems while you sit there and listen. Then you'll ask insightful questions that will cause me to come up with my own solutions. Dilbert: Okay. Have you considered the possibility that you cause all of your own problems by um... being you? Alice: You're terrible at this But that's not surprise because you're terrible at most things. I hope you die badly. Dilbert: Do I ask another insightful question now?
Wednesday October 09,
2013
Tags complaining, demand solutions, layer of management, managers & supervisors, solutions not complaints, business
Transcript
Boss: Bring me solutions, not complaints. Dilbert: Okay. Let's abolish the layer of management that does nothing but demand solutions. Boss: Now you're just being a jerk. Dilbert: Is that a complaint?
Saturday October 19,
2013
Tags complaining, conversation, dumb people, ignorance (knowledge), project taking long
Transcript
Boss: Why is your project taking longer than expected? Dilbert: It's only taking longer than dumb people expected. Boss: Still, that's a lot of people. Dilbert: What can I say to make this conversation end?

