Control Over Profits Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for control over profits comic strips. Discover the best "Control Over Profits" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #use art, #find self, #over there, #ratbert, #bad painting, #without using art, #bob, #dinosaur

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Ratbert wears a Beret and paints. Ratbert says, to Bob, "I use art as a way of finding myself." Bob says, "you're over there, Ratbert, in front of a bad painting!" Bob walks away and thinks, "And I did it without using any art."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #queen bee, #marketing, #create a buzz, #free rope, #worthless engineer, #around neck, #over beam, #suicide, #business

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Caption: "Queen bee of Marketing" A large bee women wearing glasses sits on a thrown. She hands a piece of paper to a man and says, "See if you can create a buzzover this." The man says, "Yes, my queen." The queen reached out to Dilbert who carries a coil of rope and says, "Is that free rope? Give it to me, you worthless engineer!" The queen bee wraps the rope around her neck and says, "Look everyone! There's enough to go around my neck and over that beam!" Dilbert tiptoes away.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #little stubborn guy, #dumb guy, #take over, #fulfill

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BIG: Id like you to meet the little stubborn dumb guy, Dumb: : If for any reason I cannot fulfill my duty to thwart your project, The LSDG will take over for me. Dumb: No, I won't . Big: Yes you will!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #twenty percent over budget, #two months late, #bungledm, #allocation resources, #bungled

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The Boss reads a report, and says to Dilbert, "Your project is twenty percent over budget and two months late." Dilbert says, "That's because you bungled the allocation of resources." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Bosses hate the word 'bungled'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #can't control, #based on perfromance, #not a team player

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Dilbert and Wally are sitting at a table with notes and coffee in front of them and sitting opposite them is the boss. Wally says, "...And since our bonuses depend on things we can't control..." Wally continues, "...Can mine be based on the performance of some other company?" Dilbert and Wally are walking off and Wally says to Dilbert, "You ask one question and sussenly you're not a team player."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbertmd.com, #netting billions, #no profit, #press release, #neener, #profits are for losers

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Dilbert is on his home sofa in his bathrobe with his feet on the table. Dogbert is next to him. From the T.V. we hear: "DogbertMD.com had a successful IPO today, netting billions for Dogbert." From the T.V.: "The company has no profit now and expects no profit later." From the T.V.: "The company issued a press release that says, "Neener neener. Profits are for losers." Dilbert says:"Succinct"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #back in 10, #managers, #over communicate, #times of uncertainty, #you're fired, #ted fired

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The boss says to Ed: "Ed, the experts say managers should over-communicate during times of uncertainty." The boss screams at Ed: "You're fired, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired!." Ed looks surprised. The boss says to Ed: "I'll come back in ten minutes to do that again." Ed looks angry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #outside jobs, #control my life, #control what i think, #evil hr director

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Catbert the Evil HR Director says to Asok, "You need my approval for any outside jobs." Asok replies, "Oh, my...I have the sudden realization that you control my entire life." Asok continues, "But you can't control what I think!" Catbert continues to read without responding.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #forty million dollars, #needs approval, #over budget, #whose side?

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Dilbert holds out a slip of paper to his Boss and says, "This needs your approval." The Boss looks at the piece of paper and Dilbert continues, "The company will save forty million dollars but you'll be ten thousand over budget." Dilbert says, "And before you ask, no it won't work the other way around." The Boss says, "Whose side are you on?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales department, #die, #deaths, #bile, #quality control

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Man: Hello, is this the sales department? Elbonian 1: May you die a thousand deaths by choking on your own bile. Supervisor may be monitoring this call for quality control, Elbonian 2: Its good.