Convince Friends Comic Strips - Page 7

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97 Results for Convince Friends

View 61 - 70 results for convince friends comic strips. Discover the best "Convince Friends" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2004's comic on:


Tags #moving, #movers, #boxes, #hire movers, #feeling weak, #walk by myslef, #little legs, #unmanly

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Dilbert: It feels unmanly to hire movers. I should be able to do this with a few friends and a pick up truck. Dogbert: The movers just pulled up. Dilbert: I don't like being weak. I can walk by myself! mover: On this little legs?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2005's comic on:


Tags #worlds greatest intern, #plagues, #bought plague, #less prominent placement, #alice called it

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ASOK: "Alice, you are looking at the newest member of "the world's greatest interns." Alice: "That's a scam to convince gullible interns to buy overpriced wall plaques." Asok: "I'll be displaying you less prominently than we had discussed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 2005's comic on:


Tags #stress hump, #no asignment, #no compeer no freinds, #resist, #the hump

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The New Employee "No assignment...no computer...no friends to talk to..." "It's just me and this huge stress hump." "Wazzup?" "Must...resist...urge...to name the hump...and talk to it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2005's comic on:


Tags #good advice, #balance, #personal life, #zen approach, #no freinds, #no work, #perfect balance, #zen, #faster

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Dilbert: "No one has any good advice on how I can balance my work with my personal life." Wally: "You didn't ask me." "I take the Zen approach of having no friends and doing no work. Hence, perfect balance." Dilbert: "Where did you get that definition of Zen?" wally: "I used to read, but it's faster to make up stuff."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2005's comic on:


Tags #bungee jump, #ceo, #dogcart consults, #reckless adventurer, #volcano, #worst performer

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Dogbert Consults "Your CEO is the worst performer in the entire Fortune 500." "Your best bet is to convince him to become a reckless adventurer." "Tell me again why I'd want to bungee jump into an active volcano?" "Because you can!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2006's comic on:


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"If you hire me as your lobbyist I will convince Switzerland to attack Elbonia." $ "When the war begins, your sales of Kevlar Lederhosen will skyrocket!" "It's not as bad as it sounds. Elbonians believe that if they die fighting a neutral country, their souls get candy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2007's comic on:


Tags #barbecue, #freinds, #no freinds, #make freinds, #jogger, #desparte, #meat, #social skills, #no social skills, #random, #Advice

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Dilbert: Maybe I should invite some friends over for a barbecue. Dogbert: "You don't have any friends." Dilbert: "Good point. Maybe I should make some friends first." Dogbert: "Exactly." Dogbert:"Do you like meat?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2006's comic on:


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Today the company restated its earnings from 'a few frillion' to 'a loss of 1.3 billion'. "This would be humiliating if I had any friends." "Your strategy of being unattractive is paying off." "I'm ugly like a fox."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #mergers & acquisitions, #google, #100 million, #engineers, #jump ship, #ceo, #buy out

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CEO: Google offered to buy our company for $100 million just to get our engineers. Dilbert: Huh. I wonder if I can convince the other engineers to jump ship today and share $100 million amongst us. CEO: What did he just say? Dilbert: Nothing. Just thinking out loud.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2012's comic on:


Tags #internet & world wide web, #cloudwash, #argon, #smart people, #software to cloud

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Boss: I need you to cloudwash our software. Dilbert: Cloudwash? Boss: Move some of its functions onto the internet, but call the internet a cloud. No one will take us seriously unless we're doing something in the cloud. Dilbert: Will people take us seriously if we make technology decisions based on jargon? Boss: We don't care what smart people think. There aren't many of them. We only need to convince our dumb customers. Dumb people believe anything. Dilbert: Do you believe I moved our software to the cloud yesterday? Boss: You did? Dilbert: I'm going to say yes.