Corporate Art Source Comic Strips - Page 7
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185 Results for Corporate Art Source
View 61 - 70 results for corporate art source comic strips. Discover the best "Corporate Art Source" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday October 18,
2002
Tags #latest assignment, #impossible, #slow speed of light, #perfect art, #human cloing, #eliminate garvity, #stop the sun, #reanimate dead, #impossible tasks, #change the world, #nature
Transcript
Dilbert hands a piece of paper to The Garbageman and asks, "Does my latest assignment look impossible?" The Garbageman reads the paper and replies, "Let's see... You'd need to slow the speed of light, and perfect the art of human cloning..." Dilbert asks, "So there's hope?" The Garbageman responds, "Eliminate gravity, stop the sun, reanimate the dead."
Monday January 13,
2003
Tags #cash, #conflicts if interest, #corporate skin, #huge failures, #no red flags, #potential client, #track record
Transcript
A man with hair pointy like antennae approaches The Boss and says, "Hello, potential client. I'm a consultick." The consultick continues, "I'll burrow into your corporate skin, suck your cash and never leave." The consultick continues, "My firm has a track record of huge consulting failures and conflicts of interest!" The Boss thinks, "No red flags."
Wednesday July 09,
2003
Tags #new corporate code, #report immediately, #señor management, #ship prodcuts, #defective, #take care, #lying, #report you
Transcript
The Boss addresses a meeting, "If you see anyone violating the new corporate code of ethics, report it immediately." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "I'd like to report our senior management for telling us to ship products that we know are defective." The Boss responds, "Yes, I will take care of that." Dilbert waves one hand, points his finger at The Boss with the other, and says, "Oooh! Oooh! Lying!!! I report you!!!"
Friday July 18,
2003
Tags #corporate witch hunt, #products stink, #diving rod, #liar, #pormise, #honor of family, #holy
Transcript
Headline: Corporate Witch-Hunt. The Boss asks Alice, "Alice, did you tell a reporter that our producs stink?" Alice responds, "I promise on the honor of my family, and on all that is holy, that I did not." Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches from behind with a device in his hands. He says, "So I guess you're calling my divining rod a liar."
Saturday January 10,
2004
Tags #ceo, #speech, #conference, #secretary, #corporate jet, #inhale and exhale
Transcript
The boss: Our CEO is giving a speech at the conference you're attending. Ask his secretary if you can save money by riding together on the corporate jet. He doesn't want to inhale anything you've exhaled.
Saturday March 13,
2004
Tags #manipulate, #lying, #Advice, #mayo clinic, #victim to source
Transcript
Dogbert: "You can manipulate people by lying about what other people said." "If your victim goes to the source and discovers your treachery, say, of course he tells you that." Dilbert: "Your advice doesn't sound healthy." Dogbert: "That's not what the Mayo Clinic said."
Wednesday September 08,
2004
Tags #single source vendor, #job offer, #vp title, #waiting eriod
Transcript
The boss: Okay, I convinced my company to make you our single source vendor. I assume you'll be make me a job offer now. any vp title will be fine. I'll just take an empty office. There ...is...a...waiting period!!
Friday January 21,
2005
Tags #open art gallery, #full bar, #putrid art, #specialize, #synergy
Transcript
Dogbert: I plan to open an art gallery with a full bar. "I'll specialize in putrid art that's unreasonably priced." "Synergy" "Thash so bee-oo-tiful!!!"
Saturday January 22,
2005
Tags #art bar, #dreadful, #rat checked, #bar nuts, #midnight
Transcript
Dogbert's Art Bar "That painting is dreadful. It looks as if a rat created it." "Lucky guess. I'll ask you again at midnight." Later that night "Ah wan ahix of ose an shum bar nuts!!!"
Monday February 14,
2005
Tags #fbi, #traced source, #spam, #revolutionary new pill, #rolex watches, #body fat
Transcript
"FBI, we need to talk to you." "We've traced the source of all internet spam to your house." "All of it?" "...The revolutionary new pill that turns your body fat into rolex watches!"