Search Results for "corporate art source"
Share October 18, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert hands a piece of paper to The Garbageman and asks, "Does my latest assignment look impossible?" The Garbageman reads the paper and replies, "Let's see... You'd need to slow the speed of light, and perfect the art of human cloning..." Dilbert asks, "So there's hope?" The Garbageman responds, "Eliminate gravity, stop the sun, reanimate the dead."
Share January 13, 2003's comic on:
A man with hair pointy like antennae approaches The Boss and says, "Hello, potential client. I'm a consultick." The consultick continues, "I'll burrow into your corporate skin, suck your cash and never leave." The consultick continues, "My firm has a track record of huge consulting failures and conflicts of interest!" The Boss thinks, "No red flags."
Share July 09, 2003's comic on:
The Boss addresses a meeting, "If you see anyone violating the new corporate code of ethics, report it immediately." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "I'd like to report our senior management for telling us to ship products that we know are defective." The Boss responds, "Yes, I will take care of that." Dilbert waves one hand, points his finger at The Boss with the other, and says, "Oooh! Oooh! Lying!!! I report you!!!"
Share July 18, 2003's comic on:
Headline: Corporate Witch-Hunt. The Boss asks Alice, "Alice, did you tell a reporter that our producs stink?" Alice responds, "I promise on the honor of my family, and on all that is holy, that I did not." Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches from behind with a device in his hands. He says, "So I guess you're calling my divining rod a liar."
Share January 10, 2004's comic on:
The boss: Our CEO is giving a speech at the conference you're attending. Ask his secretary if you can save money by riding together on the corporate jet. He doesn't want to inhale anything you've exhaled.
Share March 13, 2004's comic on:
Dogbert: "You can manipulate people by lying about what other people said." "If your victim goes to the source and discovers your treachery, say, of course he tells you that." Dilbert: "Your advice doesn't sound healthy." Dogbert: "That's not what the Mayo Clinic said."
Share September 08, 2004's comic on:
The boss: Okay, I convinced my company to make you our single source vendor. I assume you'll be make me a job offer now. any vp title will be fine. I'll just take an empty office. There ...is...a...waiting period!!